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  Home > Humor > News

Beverly Mahone

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Member Since: Jul, 2006

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Books
· How to Get on the News Without Committing Murder

· Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie

· Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age


Short Stories
· Lies Women Tell: Because Mommy Said So

· Sexual Intimacy and Lying

· The Truth Hurts or Does It?

· The Differences Between Sarah Palin's Daughter and Mine

· Secrets and Lies

· Don't Read Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie If...

· Career Advice I Never Forgot

· The Road Map of Life for College Students

· What a Difference College Makes

· My Real Life College Road Trip Part II


Articles
· How My Book Has Remained on the Amazon Best Seller's List for 3 Weeks

· Twitter Feud, My New Ebook and Kathy Ireland

· How to Shine With a Press Release

· Baby Boomer Women and Media Lies

· Social Media May Be Hazardous to Your Health

· It's My Party I'll Cry If I Want To

· Top 10 Baby Boomer Presidential-Elect Songs

· How to Go from Green to Red Hot as a Radio Host

· Dead Host Talking

· How to Become a Good Radio Host


Poetry
· My Baby Boomer Valentine

· Beautiful Moms

         More poetry...
News
· How to Get on the News Without Committing Murder Hits Number One on Amazon

· New Ebook on How to Get Publicity Makes Amazon Best Seller List

· How to Get on the News Without Committing Murder

· New Ebook about the Lies Women Tell Goes into Third Week on the Amazon Best

· New Card Game Designed for Mature Women

· Newly Released Book Climbs to Number 2 on Amazon

· Trayvon Martin Death Subject of Beverly Mahone's Radio Show

Beverly Mahone, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.
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12 Days of a Menopausal Christmas

11/26/2007 4:29:00 PM

by Beverly Mahone


Who says you can't have fun when you're going thru menopause? Check me out on YouTube...

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me

A headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Two aspirin-- for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Three morphine taps, two aspirin—for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up

 

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Four blank checks, three morphine taps, two aspirin—for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Five Hot Flash fans!

4 blank checks, three morphine taps, two aspirin—for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Six bottles of estrogen, Five Hot Flash Fans!--four blank checks, three morphine taps, two aspirin---for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

 On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Seven packs of bedsheets, six bottles of estrogen, Five Hot Flash Fans!—four blank checks, three morphine taps, two aspirin—for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Eight bags of ice, seven packs of bedsheets, six bottles of estrogen, Five Hot Flash Fans!—four blank checks, three morphine taps, two aspirin—for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Nine pairs of glasses, eight bags of ice, seven packs of bedsheets, six bottles of estrogen, Five Hot Flash Fans!—four blank checks, three morphine taps, two aspirin—for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

 

On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Ten memory pills, nine pairs of glasses, eight bags of ice, seven packs of bedsheets, six bottles of estrogen, Five Hot Flash fans!—four blank checks, three morphine taps, two aspirin—for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Eleven chocolate bars, ten memory pills, nine pairs of glasses, eight bags of ice, seven packs of bedsheets, six bottles of estrogen, Five Hot Flash Fans!—four blank checks, three morphine taps, two aspirin—for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

 

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Twelve pints of gin, eleven chocolate bars, ten memory pills, nine pairs of glasses, eight bags of ice, seven packs of bedsheets, six bottles of estrogen, Five Hot Flash Fans!—four blank checks, three morphine taps, two aspirin—for a headache cause he wouldn’t shut up!

To see the recorded version, go to:  http://www.youtube.com/babyboomerbev
 

This is an original lyric and cannot be published elsewhere without written permission of the author.



More News by Beverly Mahone

· How to Get on the News Without Committing Murder Hits Number One on Amazon - 6/25/2012 10:23:00 AM
· New Ebook on How to Get Publicity Makes Amazon Best Seller List - 5/28/2012 10:04:00 AM
· How to Get on the News Without Committing Murder - 5/19/2012 11:17:00 AM
· New Ebook about the Lies Women Tell Goes into Third Week on the Amazon Best - 5/14/2012 4:43:00 PM
· New Card Game Designed for Mature Women - 5/2/2012 5:19:00 PM
· Newly Released Book Climbs to Number 2 on Amazon - 5/2/2012 2:58:00 AM
· Trayvon Martin Death Subject of Beverly Mahone's Radio Show - 3/27/2012 10:30:00 AM
· New Book Helps Authors Learn How to Create a Buzz - 3/8/2012 4:37:00 PM
· Local School To Benefit from Author Signing - 11/21/2010 4:09:00 PM
· Women in Business Radio Show - 7/5/2008 11:44:00 AM
· Business Boot Camp for Women - 6/26/2008 7:42:00 PM
· Celebrate Diva Sisterhood on June 20 - 6/2/2008 2:48:00 PM
· Book by Linda J. Alexander is a Best Seller - 5/26/2008 8:05:00 PM
· Christian Women & Sex - 5/24/2008 2:51:00 PM
· We're Hot in Daytona Beach! - 4/23/2008 5:19:00 PM
· Remember the TV Sitcom Good Times? - 3/13/2008 7:15:00 AM
· Nominations Open for Most Dynamic Boomer Divas - 2/19/2008 12:32:00 PM
· Tune into my live, call-in radio talk show - 2/13/2008 11:27:00 AM
· Interview with Actress Debbie Zipp - 1/27/2008 5:08:00 PM
· Blogging Teleseminar - 1/16/2008 9:04:00 PM
· Baby Boomer Author Welcomes Patti LaBelle - 12/24/2007 6:59:00 PM
· Your Creativity could win you $$$ - 11/20/2007 9:35:00 AM
· Spotlight Shines on Ohio Mother during National Adoption Month - 11/12/2007 11:48:00 AM
· Free 2008 Calendar Magnets - 11/6/2007 12:46:00 PM
· Kentucky Author Wins My First Blog Contest - 11/1/2007 10:48:00 AM
· Baby Boomer Author wants to know Who Stole her Body - 10/20/2007 3:36:00 PM
· Let the Good Times Roll in Daytona Beach! - 10/9/2007 2:39:00 PM
· Wakin' Up with Whoopi! - 10/2/2007 6:44:00 AM
· Baby Boomer Divas Support Celebrity Fundraiser - 10/2/2007 5:05:00 AM
· First Celebrity Entertainer Announced for Girlfriends Retreat - 9/24/2007 9:53:00 AM
· Free CD Offer - 9/19/2007 6:38:00 AM
· Whatever! Comes to Life! - 9/9/2007 5:51:00 PM
· The Menopause Quiz - 9/4/2007 7:01:00 PM
· Baby Boomer Girlfriends' Retreat Set for March 2008 - 8/26/2007 10:01:00 PM
· Reviews for Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This - 8/20/2007 12:32:00 PM
· TV Land may be looking for YOU - 8/15/2007 12:01:00 PM
· Six Baby Boomer Celebrities Added to Diva Web of Fame List - 8/13/2007 10:49:00 AM
· Two More Baby Boomer Celebrities Join the Diva Web of Fame - 8/7/2007 8:16:00 PM
· Second Baby Boomer Celebrity Inducted into Diva Web of Fame - 8/5/2007 7:48:00 PM
· Enjoy Your Menopause! says Baby Boomer Author and Expert - 7/31/2007 5:11:00 PM
· Free Hot Flash Survival Kits - 7/24/2007 1:16:00 PM
· Baby Boomer Celebrity Inducted into Diva Web of Fame - 7/22/2007 1:14:00 PM
· New Website Brings Menopause Out of the Closet - 7/20/2007 6:00:00 PM
· Baby Boomer Author Ignites Fireworks in the Nation's Capital - 7/5/2007 6:26:00 AM
· Mama's Warnings about Menopause Subject of New Ebook - 6/30/2007 8:54:00 AM
· Mama Said, "Keep your dress down and your panties up!"  - 6/27/2007 12:50:00 PM
· Baby Boomer Author Takes Hot Flashes on Tour - 6/17/2007 9:44:00 AM
· Live in New York, it's ME - 6/10/2007 10:35:00 AM
· Baby Boomer Author Hit the Big Apple - 6/7/2007 3:07:00 PM
· Give me my Kudos while I'm Alive - 5/29/2007 3:38:00 PM
· The Cream of Writing Talent Rises to the Top  - 5/14/2007 5:41:00 PM
· He's One Sexy AND talented Baby Boomer! - 5/2/2007 9:41:00 AM
· Two-Time Super Bowl Champion will Judge Mother's Day Contest - 4/25/2007 5:50:00 PM
· Prizes for the Mother's Day Contest - 4/23/2007 2:55:00 PM
· Mother's Day Contest - 4/21/2007 2:42:00 PM
· Baby Boomer Women are Making a Difference - 3/19/2007 11:58:00 AM
· Women on the Move & Making History - 3/3/2007 8:13:00 AM
· Top Ten Finalists Announced - 2/12/2007 9:11:00 PM
· It's Over in Less than 24 Hours! - 2/9/2007 4:05:00 PM
· "I Want Some Attention!" - 2/3/2007 12:02:00 PM
· Valentine's Day Contest - 2/1/2007 8:39:00 PM
· New Baby Boomer Trivia Contests - 1/21/2007 5:44:00 PM
· How to Get Noticed by the Media - 1/20/2007 5:22:00 PM
· Looking for a few good men! - 1/18/2007 10:26:00 AM
· Find out how I became an "Expert" on MSNBC-TV - 1/17/2007 8:08:00 AM
· Congratulations Thomas "Sonny" Garrett! - 1/14/2007 2:59:00 PM
· Want an Interview? - 1/12/2007 1:15:00 PM
· Live to be Drama Free in 2007 - 1/7/2007 6:32:00 PM
· Name That Baby Boomer Tune  - 1/5/2007 5:46:00 PM
· New Year...New Attitude...New Website - 1/3/2007 5:13:00 PM
· Free Teleseminar - 12/28/2006 8:03:00 PM
· Thank You - 12/26/2006 11:07:00 AM
· What's wrong with foster care? - 12/16/2006 8:24:00 AM
· Unscramble Your Holiday - 12/10/2006 7:45:00 PM
· The Reviews are Awesome!!!! - 12/5/2006 4:31:00 PM
· Hope for the Holidays" CD Project - 12/4/2006 10:54:00 AM
· Name my CD - 11/30/2006 6:50:00 PM
· Weekly Baby Boomer Trivia Contest - 11/26/2006 4:54:00 PM
· Special Book Promotion*** - 11/25/2006 10:10:00 AM
· Gospel Recording Artist discusses childhood rape - 11/22/2006 11:45:00 AM
· Dances with Wolves - 11/5/2006 7:01:00 PM
· Book Signing in Nashville, NC - 11/3/2006 6:36:00 PM
· A conversation with Nikki Giovanni - 10/29/2006 9:00:00 AM
· From joy to frustration in less than 30 minutes! - 10/18/2006 8:19:00 AM
· 12 Days of A Menopausal Christmas - 10/16/2006 10:43:00 PM
· I Will Survive!!! - 10/15/2006 3:31:00 PM
· And the Winner is...... - 10/10/2006 9:35:00 AM
· Baby Boomer Trivia Buffs Wanted! - 10/10/2006 9:31:00 AM
· Menopause: An Equal Opportunity Annoyer! - 10/3/2006 11:28:00 AM
· Menopause Questions? - 9/27/2006 11:01:00 AM
· Beware of  - 9/26/2006 10:43:00 AM
· Things Your Mama NEVER Told You - 9/17/2006 12:49:00 PM
· On-Line Dating has its Pitfalls - 9/10/2006 1:30:00 PM
· News You Can Use... - 9/6/2006 7:19:00 AM
· Are you a F.A.B. Woman? - 9/5/2006 9:17:00 AM
· Baby Boomers Find Companionship on the Internet - 9/5/2006 7:27:00 AM
· Whatever! Radio is talking about Marriage - 8/26/2006 7:34:00 PM
· Whatever! Radio - 8/19/2006 3:46:00 PM
· Whatever! Author "Member of the Week" - 8/19/2006 8:03:00 AM
· Weekend Book Special*** - 8/3/2006 9:49:00 AM
· Take a Peek inside my book - 7/28/2006 12:12:00 PM
· Next in line for The View? - 7/27/2006 5:57:00 PM
· Hot Flash Survival Kits - 7/26/2006 1:14:00 PM
· Author turns book subjects into Podcast - 7/6/2006 8:18:00 AM

Books by
Beverly Mahone



Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age

Buy Options
Amazon, more..




How to Get on the News Without Committing Murder

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, more..




Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie

Buy Options
Kindle, Amazon, more..



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