My New Resume
Friday, April 18, 2008 2:31:00 PM
by Rainbow Starburst
|Following the unbridled, rampant success of my first published book, it begins to appear that I''m not quite ready to retire onto my 67 foot yacht in the Florida Keys. So, attempting to be a tad enterprising, I''ve decided to rework my CV (ColonialSpeak: Resume) I would appreciate people''s opinion on my new CV, towit:
Dear Mr/Miss/Ms Potential Would Be Gissajob Employer
Re: Gissajob, I can do that!
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn’t concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef. I figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout centre, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realised there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
I am a published author, but I can't get booked anywhere.
GissaJob, I can do that
New Book, In Production
Welcome To My World - Parts 1 & 2