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Bernadine Fawcett

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Saturday, September 08, 2012  6:22:00 AM

by Bernadine Fawcett

There are many kinds of misplaced blame and accusations


There are many kinds of misplaced blame and accusations:

God has been blamed for a partners choice to have an affair.  Since I can not control God (in this case a misplaced blame on God), it  is impossible to help that relationship.  How one can come to a conclusion that someone else is making decisions for another is the result of faulty thinking which becomes clear to almost everyone in this case.  However, when one adult accuses the other‘s friends of influencing choices that do not agree with that partner; it is not always as clear.  Until each human realizes each person is responsible for his/her own choices, actions and thoughts; no corrective action can be taken.

Government representatives have been blamed for the economy. Yet who appoints them to represent us?  Perhaps the lack of interest in handling the countries woes is left to laws or lack of them that do not represent the public’s will.  When the masses feel the loss of income, then group by group, nation by nation and individual by individual finally become involved.  Often the uprising is too late.  Fixing a problem is always harder than avoiding it in the first place.  

Being responsible for events takes constant vigilance, intelligence, perseverance, and daily attendance to maintain a course of action.  The very first effort is to define who is really responsible.  When we as persons do not understand the cause and effect, we tend to blame God or any other authority that can be found. 

Determining blame is often similar to solving a murder mystery.  Uncovering the domino effect of human relationships in any situation is difficult and often close to impossible. 

Simple blame is also often difficult to determine.  A number of dance members continually told me I was disloyal for attending  dances while another dance was being held.  It was not clear why they made that accusation until I pointed out that if I were being disloyal so were they as they were also at the dance.  They said, “But we did not take lessons from Angela” (not her actual name).  My truthful response was, “Nor have I taken lessons from her at any time.”  Then I named my teacher as Mareck. How they got that misconception is beyond my comprehension.  

Blame and accusations are misdirected as we can see in the terrorists attacks from individuals and groups.  As discontent of any kind is prevalent the stress creates a need to find a solution.  Solutions are distorted because information is not clear.

Solutions need to begin at the primary level.  Education should entail teaching how to think though problems rather than giving the solutions and expecting that the rout process will automatically teach how to reach the end result. Encouraging curiosity and exploration in a scientific manner along with an open minded approach leads to more questions that need resolving.  All our greatest minds use trial and error based on experiments to prove or disprove their theories.

Teaching problem solving techniques is only the beginning, but it is an important part of every single enigma.  Until  this consequence is attended to -the unrest of humanity will continue to erupt. 

Marriage & Family Counseling

 More News about Bernadine Fawcett
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