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Newsletter Dated: 12/18/2001 9:12:15 AM
Subject: TAKE CHARGE SUCCESS STRATEGIES
Volume 1, Number 12 December 18, 2001
Publisher: GoalMinds, Inc.
E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org http://www.goalminds.com
Copyright 2001 Jo Condrill All rights reserved
As we approach the holy holidays, we at GoalMinds, Inc. wish you and those dear to you health, happiness, and love. Even though we've faced many challenges during the past year, there are even more times when we've been exhilarated and thrilled with new knowledge, new friends, and new experiences. May you find time to relax and reflect upon your blessings of the passing year and plan for an even brighter year in 2002. We pray that we may be counted among your positive experiences and we look forward to a continuing, mutually beneficial, relationship in the coming year.
IN THIS ISSUE
1. Whatever…just fine…nothing…What's Going On Here? --by Tim Connor
2. Can You Really Make Your Dreams Come True?
3. Provocative Thoughts from The Scottish Himalayan Expedition
"The last of human freedoms is the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances."
--Victor Frankl in Man's Search for Meaning
1. Whatever…just fine…nothing…What's Going On Here?
Tim Connor, Certified Speaking Professional, Trainer, Consultant, and Best-Selling Author shares with us his relationship tip #151:
Whatever… just fine… nothing… whenever… I need some space… Nothing is bothering me. Ever heard any of these from your partner?
What causes these reactions from a partner in any conversation? There could be any number of reasons why they are refusing consciously or unconsciously to actively participate in a communication with integrity or honesty. Here are a few to consider.
1. He/she has become passive in the relationship and has decided there is no
sense in further openness.
2. It could be his/her way of avoiding conflict.
3. There are a lot of hidden agendas going on such as: repressed anger,
hopelessness, apathy or insecurity.
4. It is easier to agree, sort of . . . than argue.
5. This may be his/her way of expressing inner frustration, fear, or worry.
6. She/he may be working through some inner thoughts, feelings, fears, or desires, and are not yet ready to put them to words.
What can you do if you consistently receive these responses from your conversation partner?
-Force them to participate, by not letting them get away with these tactics.
-Probe deeper for real reasons.
-Carefully observe when she/he uses these phrases.
-Use phrases or questions like: What does … mean, Would you please further
explain why you are… Could you please help me understand …?
Often there is a much deeper reason why people react in this way. It is usually not just a communication device to cut the conversation short or off.
Copyright 12/2001 Tim Connor, Connor Resource Group
Connor Resource Group
Box 397 Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA
web site: http://www.timconnor.com
Don't let your holidays be marred by unpleasantness. Use open-ended questions with love in your heart to encourage meaningful dialogue. You'll find this among the very useful tips in 101 Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills Instantly, by Jo Condrill and Bennie Bough, Ph.D.
2. Can You Really Make Your Dreams Come True?
The approach of a new year usually causes us to pause, review the year that's passing into history, recount our victories, and consider some of our nagging near misses. What went right? Where did we fall short? Then we move on, looking into the future and formulating our New Year's Resolutions… or maybe not. Many of us have given up after failing to reach the desired ends we stated as resolutions year after year. Can we hope to have a different outcome in the coming year? Yes, we can! Here's how.
Think! Daydream! Go a little bit crazy! Give yourself permission to let go of reality for a time. Let down the boundaries you've been living within and look over the horizon with a wide-angle lens. You have the power within you right now to achieve anything you want to achieve, to become anything you want to become! How can you be satisfied with the status quo, the current state of things, when the world is filled with abundance and you have talents to be used? Dreams can be fleeting, fanciful ideas of optimum satisfaction or pleasure, or they can become raw material for the vision of life as you want it to be.
"The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss."
Most of us stop dreaming because we're locked into habits and thought patterns that we assumed as we were growing up, patterns like always looking for the one right answer. Admonitions such as “be logical,” “be practical,” and “don't rock the boat” have stifled our imaginations. Those admonitions may have been well intended, but they do not lead to creative thinking. Many people still believe that you have to be a little bit crazy to be creative!
Forget the restrictions. You are looking for possibilities. Look at audacious and outrageous, seemingly impossible ideas. Stretch your imagination. There will be time for evaluating the ideas later on. For now focus on the majesty and excitement of what might be. Do not be afraid to be outrageous. Dare to dream impossible dreams. Who's to say what is possible anyway?
Asking questions helps guide your imagination along specific paths. Lift your sights and look at those around you who are succeeding at what you would like to become. Look within your heart and ask yourself, why can't I?
Dreaming has the capacity to become a powerful force in your life. It can:
-- Generate positive expectations
-- Make change more acceptable
-- Boost self-confidence
-- Provide direction
-- Unlock energy
If you truly would like to stretch the possibilities of your life and establish more ambitious goals, then you must be bold enough to dream great dreams. There will never be a better time to begin than right now. Happy New Year!
If you'd like to have some coaching to get started,
Call 1 800 697-5680. Let's talk.
"If a speaker is indeed wise, she does not bid you enter the house of her wisdom--but rather leads you to the threshold of your own." Kahlil Gibran
3. Provocative Thoughts from The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, sent to us by a Barnes & Noble bookseller in Lubbock, Texas
Until one is committed there is hesitancy,
The chance to draw back,
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation)
There is one elementary truth,
The ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself
Then Providence moves, too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
That would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision
Raising in one's favor
All manner of unforeseen incidents and
Meetings and material assistance,
Which no man would have dreamt would have come his way.
By W. H. Murray, published 1951
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