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Newsletter Dated: 8/24/2003 10:50:25 AM
Subject: Who's the You Running Your Life?
Short Sweet Secrets for Success
IN THIS ISSUE:
1. Who's the You Running Your Life?
2. Make the Leap to Abundance
3. Workshops to Grab Your Rainbow
4. The Gifts of Nature
Who’s the You Running Your Life?
Get Drama and Trauma Out of Your Karma
You finally make a friend or get a hot date with someone
you’re attracted to—then blow it by acting aloof or not
Have you ever had the experience of deciding to take a
certain action, but end up doing something quite different?
Crazy! Why do we do that? Often our actions are being run
by decisions we made as a kid. Decisions that went on
automatic, underground, behind-the-scenes, and now, affect
us unconsciously. Decisions that are now controlling our
actions in the present moment without us being aware of them.
You land an exciting job—then blow it by "copping an
attitude"with the boss or customers.
Why Do We Get So Off Track After We Begin
With Such Good Intention And Courage?
It’s those pesky childhood decisions!
As we grew up, we developed strategies to survive at home
and in school. We wanted our parents’ love and attention
and a safe place to live. We wanted to belong, get asked to
the prom, and pass exams—while not getting beaten up by
the school bully or humiliated by gossip.
We decided to act in certain ways to keep ourselves as
socially acceptable and secure as possible.
Congratulations, You Succeeded!
The survival strategies you developed as a kid worked!
These behavior patterns were good, positive, beneficial,
even brilliant. They succeeded in doing the job they were
designed to do in that situation at that time. The proof—
you’re reading this. These tactics kept you alive! Perhaps
a bit bruised, but still breathing. Breathing, but maybe
not as happy as you could be.
Once a Friend—Now a Foe
Have you noticed you’re still using some of the same
behavioral strategies to get what you want as an adult
that you used in your youth?
Playing naïve. Being passive-aggressive. Manipulative.
Moody. Sarcastic. Confused. Spacey. Overly sexy.
Other Kid Tactics:
Pouting. Flirting. Whining. Complaining. Hiding. Running
away. Giving up. Fantasizing. Acting dumb. Having accidents.
Getting sick. Playing tough. Acting the fool. Telling white lies.
Acting like a victim. Pretending you're someone you're not.
Do these tactics work currently in your adult life to create
what you really want—loving mutual relationships, lasting
support from people and the universe, vibrant health,
boundless energy, real joy? Usually not!
Since the circumstances and nature of our adult challenges
have changed dramatically since we were young, most kid
strategies are no longer appropriate or effective. In fact,
these old tactics now get in the way of reaching our goals.
Why Don't Childhood Successes Work for Adults?
Because any behavior that is unconscious and automatic
can’t adjust to new, different and changing situations.
So, these conditioned childhood survival strategies come
back to haunt us when we use them as adults—like
disruptive ghosts from the past.
As adults, we still seek to be liked, to be included, and to
make the grade at work. But instead of applying fresh
intuitive responses that are appropriate to the current
challenges, we are on autopilot—unconsciously controlled
by the programmed decisions we made to deal with the
trauma and drama of our childhood.
Here are two real-life examples my friend Sulana shares from her Earth adventure that demonstrate how childhood decisions get in the way of creating happiness in the present:
The Great Pretender
"When I was young, my punishment du jour was being sent
to my room. My room became a safe haven from the rantings
and irrational behavior of my alcoholic parents. To lessen the
scoldings and whippings, I quickly learned to stay silent about
what I felt or observed. I naturally created strategies to keep
myself as safe as possible: hiding my feelings, telling white
lies, using sarcasm, and spending lots of time alone. And I
discovered I got attention from my parents by getting ill or
acting confused. So, I developed asthma and played dumb.
"Now as an adult, I long for honest, expressive relationships
with co-workers and employers—and playful, truthful relation-
ships with friends and lovers. But my own unconscious
behavior sabotages the openness and intimacy I so deeply
desire. I try to get people to talk about themselves without
revealing anything about myself. I pretend to not know infor-
mation that I do know. And I look for attention and love from
other people by getting sick and playing helpless and spacey.
The Ex-Flower Child
"At first my new job delivering flowers was right up my alley.
I enjoyed the time driving gave me to be with myself. Then
the management changed our original agreement and
required that I work more hours and drive longer distances
for less pay. Running on my childhood programming, I kept
my resentment to myself and became moody. I felt like a
victim, taken advantage of, powerless. I pouted and whined
to myself. When I talked to the boss, I was angry and copped
an attitude. It wasn’t long before I got fired.
Who’s the You Who Makes You Do?
What do YOU do to try to make friends, stay safe, fit in, be
loved? Until we undo these conditioned strategies, the
decisions we made when we were children run all aspects
of our lives in the present: from relationships and health to
finances and work.
You can easily discover the automatic behaviors that are
running you. Scan through your life. Make a list of the
challenges you encountered throughout your life. What
are the specific, unique problems you had to face at your
home, school, college, job—and with your parents, relatives,
friends, teachers and co-workers? What personal strategies
did you develop to get yourself through the challenges of
Are you still using similar tactics?
Are these approaches successful?
Intuition to the Rescue
The good news is that when you identify the past programmed
strategies that don’t work in your present life, you can create
new strategies that do work. The once necessary kid tactics
that kept you safe and balanced—like training wheels of a
bicycle—can be discarded. You are now capable of keeping
yourself balanced and safe using the guiding wisdom of your
intuition and acquired life experience.
Successful Alternatives Surround You
Exciting and playful alternative strategies are all around
you. Lots of people have discovered original, creative ways
of dealing with situations similar to yours. Fresh ideas and
models are demonstrated in the lives of truly happy and
With keen eyes and perked ears, you can glean fun and
compassionate life strategies from biographies, interviews,
TV, movies, books, news, magazines and advice columns.
Seek out a mentor, shaman or other personal advisor.
Let your intuition guide you to an inspiring workshop or
Have a good time creating new approaches to life that work!
After what you’ve been through, you deserve it!
Having It All
Why Some People Make the Leap
—and Others Don’t
Kids dream of a peaceful life where people are happy and
healthy. Children can’t wait to grow up to be free to do
whatever they want. Kids play in a world of unlimited
opportunity where anything is possible. Children’s natural
passion is to live to the Max!
Are you still squirming with excitement to get up in the
morning? Do you have the zest in your relationships,
career and spiritual life you dreamed of having when
you were a kid? If your answer is "Not yet," why haven’t
you been able to create the abundance you want?
We Are Each Beings of Light
Within that light are all the colors of the rainbow—all the
aspects of God and humanity—all the power of our natural
spiritual abilities. Why do some of us open to the full
spectrum of our magnificence and power?
Why Do Most of Us Continue to See
Only Black and White?
My Dad was colorblind his whole life. He was a "good"
man—faithful husband, dutiful father, respectful son, hard
worker, trusted employee, solid citizen, on the school
board, town council, church elders—heck, he was even
the Mayor of the city—but he only saw the world as various
shades of gray. He often asked me as a child what color
different flowers were. I’d describe to him the planet I
perceived as best I could. As a child, I often wondered why
he chose not to see all the colors of the rainbow of life.
Too Many Choices?
Funny, I always saw his colorblindness as a choice, a
decision. I could feel my father’s fear of being bombarded
with too many colors to look at—too many attractive choices,
too many exciting paths to follow in life. I could feel his relief,
his comfortableness, in not seeing too many attractive
possibilities—and in doing so, not having to choose between
too many intense passions and divergent options.
I cry for my father and all the other men, and women, who
choose to limit their exposure to disappointment and
frustration in life by limiting their vision—who decide to be
safe, rather than sorry, within their gray skies and gray walls.
I Cry Out of Love—and Understanding
I know why they look away from the alluring bright lights,
the captivation of the dazzling dawn, and the frighteningly
brilliant hues of a fiery sunset. They are scared of bring
snared, captured, by the wonders of the world if they
acknowledge the infinite magic of each moment, the
aliveness of unchecked spontaneity, the wild electricity
of every life encounter. They feel risk where others see
adventure. They feel threat where others see opportunity.
They feel danger where others see liberation.
Adventure or Risk?
Why are some people excited by life’s banquet and others
terrified? Our openness to life’s bounty is determined by the
decisions we make along our journey—decisions about what
we can "safely" handle, what we can "pragmatically" create,
what we "realistically" deserve. Our freedom to grow and be
happy comes from discovering and re-making those choices,
mindsets and self-images—about who we are and what life
is really about.
What Do You Think Life Is Really About?
What do you think is the purpose of life?
And do your actions flow from that perspective?
Do your life choices flow from what you think is the meaning
of your life? Or does your behavior in life actually reflect a
different set of beliefs?
What Do Your Actions Say?
One of my teachers observes, "You can tell what a person
really believes by watching how the person acts, not by
listening to what they say."
A person’s behavior—personal everyday choices—reveals
most accurately what they really believe is central and
important in life. We often sincerely think we believe one
way, yet we act in another.
For example, many people think they believe that life is
about sharing their blessings of time, talents and money with
others. However, if you closely watch how they allot their
time and resources, you see a very different motivating force
driving their choices—most of their energy goes into building
private reserves of money and "things."
Many folks genuinely think they believe "we are all one,"
yet their actions scream separateness and competition.
A lot of people say "the universe will provide," yet they
worry all the time about money and they take jobs they hate.
Many "believe" they have a "soul mate," yet they settle for
a "comfort mate" just to keep the horror of loneliness at bay.
People believe in abundance, yet don’t have what they want.
Many people believe they are "eternal souls," yet their fear
and insecurity shout "I’m not safe."
Closing the Gap
Why is there a discrepancy between how we "think" life is
and how we actually experience it? Why the gap between
what we say we believe and how we act?
Because our "unconscious" beliefs are running the show!
The same observant teacher comments, "What we create in
life is the sum total of our conscious and unconscious beliefs."
How can you tell what beliefs are lurking under your surface,
keeping you from true happiness? It’s obvious—simply look
at what realities you’re currently creating in your life.
Anywhere you’re struggling—financially, emotionally,
physically—you have subterranean beliefs undermining
your stated goals.
The way to create the prosperity, love and health you want
in life is to transform your unconscious sabotage. Then your
actions will align with your natural state of abundance and
support—and the goodness will flow naturally in your life.
GRAB YOUR RAINBOW
The new "Grab Your Rainbow" Dream Workshop offers
effective tools to help you shine the light on the uncon-
sciousness that dictates your emotions and actions—on
the unconsciousness that has kept you from living the full
life you truly desire. As you release yourself from these
automatic beliefs and behaviors, you regain amazing
amounts of clarity, courage and creativity.
Phoenix Sept 13 one-day
Sedona Oct 3-6
Chicago Oct 10-13
Tallahassee Oct 31-Nov 3
Philadelphia/NJ Nov 7-10
Ft Myers FL Nov 21-23
Phoenix Dec 6 one-day
San Francisco Fall
SEDONA VISION QUEST
In the Cool High Mountain Canyons
Aug 17-20 & Sept 21-24
Transform Your Life on a Vision Quest:
The Gifts of Nature
Did you know that throughout history people have gone into
nature seeking profound spiritual revelations, dramatic
physical healings and liberating emotional breakthroughs?
Why Do People Look to Nature?
Because the dynamics of nature naturally break you out of
habitual mental ruts to generate fresh, imaginative
approaches and make new, inspired life choices.
In the quiet, empty, ageless spaces of remote canyons many
people can get clearer answers to their spiritual or practical
questions than through traditional, sitting meditation. For
thousands of years, people have used the vision quest as an
active, moving meditation through which the soul gives
guidance using the mirror of the external, physical world.
What Rite is Right for You?
The quest can act as a rite of passage marking an important
transition or time in a person’s life. It also act as a rite of
renewal, of soul healing or rebirth, or of strengthening
understanding and connection to Self and to the Earth.
In addition, the quest can be a rite of dedication or celebration
of life purpose and passion.
There are as many different types of vision quests—from
rigorous to gentle, in settings from mountain peaks to deep
canyons--as there are visions. They all explore the
alchemical, transformative power of nature . . . and of YOU!
Cool, shaded paths along lush, rushing streams are very
relaxing and conducive to receiving the helpful messages from
our souls delivered by birds, animals and stones. High on
towering cliffs eagles speak, the wind caresses, and people
taste new realizations. You drink from the well of the deep
blue of the sky.
Plants Advise You. Rocks Give Strength.
You listen. You heal. You transform.
People experience the quest as an ever-changing river,
bubbling past obstacles, washing away what is no longer
needed, carving out new niches, flowing into expanded
territory and providing life-enhancing energy.
The Gifts of Nature
Returning from the quest is a time of great exuberance and
joy, celebrating the healing and wholeness that each person
has found. People re-enter their lives, bringing their unique,
re-discovered gifts and opened hearts back to family, friends,
community and work. People create breakthroughs in
abundance, health, jobs and discovering life purpose.
"The people in the Land of the Eagle (North America) don't
have to know any more. They have more than enough books.
They have the knowledge. Now they simply have to live what
they know. You have all the information. You know it all.
You are very mature people. You are ready to fly. The only
problem is that the knowledge is all in your minds.
It has to be transferred to your hearts."
--Don Alberto Tatzo, Yachag
OTHER POWERFUL SEDONA WORKSHOPS
The Sovereign Self Sept 26-29
Grab Your Rainbow Oct 3-6
De-Aging Workshop Oct 17-19
Way of the Wizard Oct 24-27
New Year’s Prosperity Playshop Dec. 28-31
"Your newsletter has some of the most insightful, concise
and "moment defining" articles I've read in a long time.
The choice of the words and the descriptions are incredible.
Keep up the great work!"
--John Shoemaker, Florida
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