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Tina B Tessina

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Hello, and welcome to the "Happiness Tips" newsletter. In addition to a helpful tip for increasing your happiness, you can find out where I'll be signing books, and how to contact me, along with "Happiness Tips from Tina" in every month's newsletter. Please remember to add tina.tinatessina.com to your "acceptable" list, especially if you're on AOL.
Newsletter Dated: 1/1/2011 2:27:54 PM

Subject: Happiness Tips from Tina: Turnaround Time

Dear Friends:

Welcome to our new subscribers, I love hearing from all of you, and I've printed your e-mail responses at the bottom of this newsletter. I welcome all suggestions for topics. To make sure your spam system doesn=t reject this newsletter, please add tina@tinatessina.com to your list of acceptable e-mail. I am not able to fill out forms online because you=re screening for spam. To unsubscribe, see below.

Remember if you don't want the newsletter, just click the link at the bottom, and you'll be instantly unsubscribed. If you missed the newsletter last month, the article is on my website at http://www.tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html

Happiness Tip: Turnaround Time

Solstice is the day near year end when the sun is furthest away from the Earth, and immediately begins to come closer again. Solstice marks a celestial turning point, and it's no coincidence that we celebrate the end of the old year, and begin a new year of birth and renewal at this time. It's a time of new beginnings, of letting go of the old and generating the new. Many of my clients come in looking for a new way to see or do things, or a way to let go and refocus.

What kind of renewal do you want to generate in your own life?

* Are you feeling too caught up in things, and you want to let go a little, to learn to relax more?
* Is there a new goal you want to make happen in your life?
*Are you isolated and lonely, and want to generate more activity and more friends in your life?
*Do you have a relationship that needs a re-charge?
*Or are you happy and delighted with your life and the past year, and you just want to begin another that will be as good?


Just as the sun is making its turn in the heavens this season, try making a turn in your outlook:

If you've been holding on, struggling to make something work, try letting go a little. Take it less seriously, laugh a little more, breathe more deeply, and walk a little slower. You'll be surprised to find out that things still get done. Let the returning light make your life a little brighter, a little easier, and a little less frantic.

If a goal has been eluding you, try giving up on it for a moment, and then re-approaching it with a new attitude. Often, goals elude us because we're trying too hard.

If life seems empty, boring, or lonely you can also turn it around. Anticipate the returning warmth, and let it affect your life. Give whatever you can by getting involved in volunteer projects, helping others, or working pro bono. Remember, no matter who you are, you are always welcome as a volunteer somewhere. By turning your focus around toward giving, you'll enrich your life, and you'll find others doing the same thing who will want to be your friends. By giving of yourself, you'll learn more about true intimacy with others. As you learn, the other relationships in your life will change, too.

Perhaps your turnaround will be within a relationship. Are things not as good as they could be with a lover, with family, with a friend? How can you see it differently? It can often be helpful to let go of expectations and acknowledge that the other person is different from who you'd like them to be. Or, maybe you need to listen more to what the other person is telling you, and learn something about yourself. Itís also possible to be too giving or accepting, and if thatís the problem, you may need to learn to take better care of yourself in all your relationships. Is there a relationship that has not been working for you, that needs help?

If things are going great, and you're really in a celebratory mood, this is the perfect season for that, too! Give thanks for your wonderful year, enumerate one by one all the blessings you received this year. Congratulate yourself, give yourself a big pat on the back, and throw yourself a party! Then, let it all go. Life is about change, and the traditional time of change is upon us. There's a new year coming, a new start, a new day.

Life blesses us with this opportunity constantly. No matter how bad or good today is, like Little Orphan Annie says, tomorrow is brand new. We get another start. We can slow down, speed up, make changes, and do it over. There is nothing we can't approach differently at the beginning of a new day. At this time of year, when the old year is ending, and the new about to begin, I like to remind myself of the opportunity this constant renewal brings.

I am grateful for this reminder, this yearly re-focus of my attention and dedication. Just as the world renews itself, no matter what wars, pollution, injustices and problems are going on, I have the opportunity to renew my self and my life; no matter what drama may be going on in it.

I wish you joy and peace, love and laughter, and a New Year full of dreams come true.
8 2010 Tina B. Tessina adapted from: It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (New Page) ISBN 1-56414-548-4

If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at http://tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html

Anticipating Change
Apology and Forgiveness
Asking for What you Want
Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude
The Courage to Hope
Coping with Critics
Family Meetings
Four Steps to Success
Getting Out of Your Way
Giving Thanks
Guidelines for Being Understood by Your Partner
Handling Anxiety Effectively
How Not to Fight
How to be Irresistible to Your Mate
How to Stretch Time
Into Every Life
Learning Forgiveness
Letting Go Takes Love
Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends
Mirrors and Teachers
Patterns of Change
Practicing Patience
Response-Ability
Setting Boundaries and Saying No
True Beauty: Honor the God or Goddess in You
Winning The War Within
Year of Peace
Your Heart's Desire
Your Job on Earth
Your Primary Relationship

Appearances Calendar

Follow me www.twitter.com/tinatessina @tinatessina
The Dr. Romance blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/tinatessina
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/tinatessina
You can find me on the Internet as "Dr. Romance" on Divorce360.com: http://www.divorce360.com/articles-by-tina-tessina/128.aspx
I=m a Contributing Editor for Redbook

I'll also answer your questions at http://www.tinatessina.com
Upcoming radio shows, TV, and lectures are all posted on my website at http://www.tinatessina.com and at http://www.booktour.com/author/tina_b_tessina


I welcome your feedback and support, please contact me at tina@tinatessina.com.

Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com

MAILBOX
Re: Give Yourself a Gift

Wise words as always Tina. Just want to wish you and Richard a peace+joy-filled Christmas. Much love and gratitude from Ireland, Mel.

And the same to you, Mel. Always glad to hear from you.

Happy Holidays to you and yours, too! Thanks so much for you wise words!
Jan

You are very welcome, Jan. Thanks for writing, and Happy New Year!

Tina, What a great essay...the best presents given during the holidays cannot be wrapped and placed under a tree. Best regards, Mary

Thanks, Mary. Your note is a great present to me.

I love receiving your e-letter, it always gives me food for thought. Donice

So nice to hear from you, Donice. Thank you, and Wishing you a very Happy New Year.

ďYou and my hero and I appreciate you!Ē works wonders. (And...you are my hero and I appreciate you, too, Tina) Vikki

Thanks, Vikki, Iím glad it works for you, and thanks for letting me know.

Your monthly e-letter is very inspiring. Much love, Molly

Thanks, Molly, Iím glad itís helpful.

Happy New Year to everyone!!

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