Hello, and welcome to the "Happiness Tips" newsletter. In addition to a helpful tip for increasing your happiness, you can find out where I'll be signing books, and how to contact me, along with "Happiness Tips from Tina" in every month's newsletter. Please remember to add tina.tinatessina.com to your "acceptable" list, especially if you're on AOL.
Newsletter Dated: 5/1/2003 7:01:44 AM
Subject: Happiness Tips From Tina - Worry not!
Happiness Tips from Tina
Often, it seems that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything that must be done, and like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland we have to run as fast as we can just to stay in place. And she was created before computers, cell phones and e-mail! I often find myself worrying about a future I can’t predict, or things I haven’t done. Worry saps energy, and accomplishes nothing, so I’ve developed a method of dealing with worry that you might find helpful, especially when you can’t sleep or if you’re anxious. Whenever you’re worried, follow these simple steps:
Happiness Tip: The Worrier's Guidelines
1. Write it down. If you’re feeling anxious or worried, or you can’t stop thinking about some event that hasn’t happened yet, take a few moments to write down whatever is worrying you. If you can’t write it down, think it through carefully until you can clearly say what you’re worrying about. Clarifying your worries will stop the free-floating sensation of anxiety with no basis.
2. Evaluate. Think about the first item on your list. Ask yourself “Is there anything I can do about it now?” If you’re at home and worrying about the office, or if the problem won’t occur until next week or next year, you may not be able to do anything about it right now. Or, perhaps you can make yourself a note, make a call, devise a plan, or ask for help.
3. Do Something. If there is something you can do, do it. Rather than waste time worrying, decide to get something done. For example,
∙ If you’re worrying about how your presentation will go at work tomorrow, go over your notes and lay out your clothes for the morning.
∙ If you’re worried about a health problem, look up the illness or injury on the Internet, or call your doctor and ask some questions.
∙ If you’re at work worrying and about cooking dinner when you get home, write down a menu or a list of ingredients.
∙ If you’re worried that you may be fired, update your resume and call some agencies. You don’t have to take another job right away, but if there’s a real problem you’ll be prepared.
Here’s how it looks in action: If you’re worried that the roof may leak the next time it rains, start making a list about what you can do about it. Your inner dialog may sound like this:
“The news said it was going to rain next week. I’m worried that the roof might leak.”:
“Call a roofing company and have them look at it.”
“I’m worried that a roofing company will charge me more than they should because I don’t know how much it should cost.”
“Call my brother, (or my neighbor, or my friend) who had his roof done, and ask him what it costs, and also if he liked the contractor he used.”
When you reach this “okay”, it’s time to make the call, or, if it’s too late at night, make a note to call the next day.
4. Distract Yourself. When you’ve done what you can, or made your lists or notes, then distract yourself: Count your blessings, get involved in something else, read, or take a walk or a bath.
Repeat the above steps whenever you’re worried, and you’ll find that your worries decrease. I wish you days full of blessings. (Adapted from It Ends With You)
Here's how we can get to know each other better.
Upcoming "It Ends With You" book signings:
Wednesday May 7, 2003 7:00 PM Barnes & Noble, 7777 Edinger Avenue Huntington Beach, CA 92647 (714)897-8781
Saturday, June 7, 2003 2:00 PM Barnes & Noble, 111 W. Colorado Blvd,Pasadena "Making Love Last: Freedom and Flow" joint talk with Susan Perry,author of Loving in Flow
"The Psyche Deli: delectable tidbits for the subconscious" (hosts Tina Tessina and Deborah Keith)airs every Thursday. 4-5 PM on KUCI 88.9 FM, and is simulcast on www.kuci.org. You can tune in and call 949-824-5824 to ask questions on air.
Saturday, May 3 4:20 PM PDT I'll guest on "Coping with Caregiving"internet radio show with Jacqueline Marcell. http://www.wsradio.com/copingwithcaregiving.
Online Classes for Continuing Education Credit:
It Ends With You
How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free
The Real 13th Step
To browse my books, visit www.tinatessina.com
I welcome your feedback and support, please contact me at email@example.com.
Fan Letter for It Ends With You
“ I am half way through It Ends with You and I love it! It's the first book I have read, and I have read many, that pinpoints mannerisms and behaviors that reflect our childhoods and gives specific feedback on how it could effect us as adults. It has really caused me to think about my own behaviors and where they have originated. Having a father who is manic-depressive, I get scared easily by certain behaviors that I possess that I learned from him...I hope that your book will prevent these behaviors from developing into my own and for me not to seek out boyfriends that reflect my father's erratic moods. I am eager to not only finish this book, but look into some of your other books as well.”
Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
© 2003 Tina B. Tessina Happiness Tips (Vol. 1, #3)