Hello, and welcome to the "Happiness Tips" newsletter. In addition to a helpful tip for increasing your happiness, you can find out where I'll be signing books, and how to contact me, along with "Happiness Tips from Tina" in every month's newsletter. Please remember to add tina.tinatessina.com to your "acceptable" list, especially if you're on AOL.
Newsletter Dated: 12/31/2005 11:56:57 PM
Subject: Happiness Tips from Tina - Anticipating Change
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Happiness Tip: Anticipating Change
Happy New Year! Every New Year feels like a new beginning. The sun, at its furthest point at Winter Solstice, has begun its annual swing closer to Earth, you change your calendar, and we all feel the renewal of the fresh, new year. With this sense of renewal, all of us are energized, and itís natural to feel that itís a great time to begin new traditions, and change old habits. Add that to the feeling that we indulged too much while celebrating over the holidays, and we have the perfect setup to make new yearís resolutions.
New Year's resolutions are about beginning fresh, and correcting past problems, so the impetus to do them as the year begins anew makes sense. However, it's a lot easier said than done. If the resolution is made with real motivation behind it, it will likely succeed, no matter when it's begun. But, if you're just making resolutions because everyone else is, or you believe you should do it, and you havenít thought it through, youíre liable to find that you lack motivation and energy to follow through. If you make the resolution easy to accomplish, you'll have more successes to celebrate and you'll be able to appreciate your accomplishment.
Instead of following that same old cycle, and setting yourself up for disappointment one more time, you can follow my simple plan for replacing disappointment with anticipation. Setting yourself up for anticipation instead of defeat, makes your new year a lot easier.
Try replacing the old resolution habit with a new a habit of daily anticipation with the following method:
Daily Anticipation: Either in the evening or the morning, take fifteen to twenty minutes to sit down with your calendar and think about the day to come. Consider your to-do list, your appointments (whatever kind of appointments you have: with a business associate, a customer, your dentist, to take your child to soccer or ballet, or lunch with a friend) and whatever you personally would like to accomplish (for example: gardening, cooking dinner, making a speech, getting a new client, writing your novel, working out, winning at a sport, meditating or praying, creating art or music, or visiting a friend). If your list is more than you can possibly get done in one day, sort through it now, instead of waiting until the end of the day to find you didnít accomplish the most important things. Prioritize what you have to do, and whatever youíre not going to get to today, put on your to-do list for tomorrow or next week.
Look at your calendar and schedule as realistically as you can. For example, if you are taking your daughter to ballet class, or your son to football practice, consider that it might be important to allow enough time for the two of you to talk. If the client you have to see is long-winded or habitually late, take that into consideration. If you are extra tired, consider not packing your day as full as usual.
On the other hand, if your calendar is not full enough, if you have a tendency to go to work and then come home with no idea of what youíll do for the evening, then give some thought to scheduling some of that unused time: For example, volunteering to help somewhere; inviting a friend to dinner, participating in a sport, joining the church choir, or taking a class. You can even decide to get intentional about relaxing, rather than letting the TV or the computer absorb time meaninglessly.
In this way you can take charge of your day, and make sure that, within the limits of your real situation, you do the things that are most important to you. The few minutes you take at the beginning of your day to organize it can save you hours later. If you focus on planning each day, you will make steady progress toward attaining your future goals, and creating a truly Happy New Year!
I wish you a new year filled with every good thing.
© 2005 Tina (from It Ends With You)
If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at http://tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html
Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude
Into Every Life
Winning The War Within
Getting Out of Your Way
Patterns of Change
How to Stretch Time
Motivation And How to Create It
"Dating Guidelines for Single Parents" excerpted from the UG to Dating Again is now online at News For Parents website http://www.newsforparents.org/expert_dating_single_parents.html
You can find me on the Internet, as the "Dating Doctor" on www.couplescompany.com, "Dr. Romance" on Yahoo!Personals at http://personals.yahoo.com/us/static/content_date (Look for my predictions for romance for 2006!), a designated Marriage Expert for Redbook Institute and I'll also answer your questions at http://www.tinatessina.com.
Through my website, you can get CE credits online based on my books: It Ends With You; How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free and The Real 13th Step To sign up for classes or browse my books, visit www.tinatessina.com.
I welcome your feedback and support, please contact me at email@example.com.
Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
Re: Holiday Magic
Wonderful, Tina. Thank you so much-and happy holidays to you and yours.
Thank you, Arline, and Happy New Year to you.
Thanks, I needed that! This one's the best! YOU are the BEST!
Happy Holidaze! WE MISS YOU!
Craig And the WPMD bunch
Thanks, Craig, I miss you all and the show, too.
(From an old friend I grew up with)
Your holiday message prompted a mental journey back to our school days in our tiny town in Upstate NY where, for me, the Holiday Magic Standard was set. "Be it ever so humble ...."
Remember ice skating on the Mill Pond? That was a Norman Rockwell scene if ever there was one!
Remember after-lunch sing-alongs around the Christmas Tree with Pa Peretta at the piano happily hammering holiday carols?
Remember the fire truck stopping by every child's home on Christmas morning so that Santa could personally deliver a candy/toy filled stocking --just in case he might have missed a house or two--or more--the night before?
And finally, do you remember the absolute quiet of night-falling snow captured only by the occasional street light along Rockland Road?
Peace and Happiness to you and Richard --and thanks for jogging my magical memories of holidays past.
Happy New Year, Sharon, and thanks for sending me those happy mental images.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about your memories about Christmas and the holidays. Reading your words triggered my own memories to come forth. Some of the memories are sad, funny, but mostly good. I will begin to make cookies and invite family members to participate together we will create memories as we make cookies. I wish you and Richard a very happy, peaceful and safe Christmas.
Happy New Year, Bonnie! Iím glad you enjoyed it.
Nice, short, holiday poem.
Thanks, Chrissy! Glad you liked it.
Less is more.. Balance, kindness, moderation are a part of the key to a joyous life.
I agree, Andy
dance and glide~simple and beautiful~
I loved this edition of your happiness tips. Music is magic for me all year round, especially over the holidays. Again, it was great having tea with you a while back. Hope your holidays are going well.
I know what a great musician you are, and your music is indeed magic.
My grandmother offered me your book "The 10 smartest decisions a Woman can make before 40" for my 36th birthday last September and it was just the book I needed. I think I have spent these 36 years confused and without knowing what I wanted to do with my life, just dreaming but doing little. I read a lot of self-help books in order to find out how I should live my life and, after reading your book and doing the exercises, I discovered that I already knew a lot but just didńt trust me. Thank you for this wonderful book, it really changed my life.
All the best for you.
Iím so glad you found the book helpful. Hereís to your success!