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Tina B Tessina

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Hello, and welcome to the "Happiness Tips" newsletter. In addition to a helpful tip for increasing your happiness, you can find out where I'll be signing books, and how to contact me, along with "Happiness Tips from Tina" in every month's newsletter. Please remember to add tina.tinatessina.com to your "acceptable" list, especially if you're on AOL.
Newsletter Dated: 12/1/2009 9:31:44 AM

Subject: Happiness Tips from Tina: The Importance of Humor

Dear Friends:

Welcome to our new subscribers, I love hearing from all of you, and I've printed your e-mail responses at the bottom of this newsletter. I welcome all suggestions for topics. To make sure your spam system doesnít reject this newsletter, please add tina@tinatessina.com to your list of acceptable e-mail. I am not able to fill out forms online because youíre screening for spam. To unsubscribe, see below.

Remember if you donít want the newsletter, just click the link at the bottom, and youíll be instantly unsubscribed. If you missed the newsletter last month, the article is on my website at http://www.tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html

Happiness Tip: The Importance of Humor
We are such an inventive species. We are also a species with a sense of humor. I think the two are connected. It takes a sense of humor to be able to stumble around in an unfamiliar situation until you figure it out.

Current research has indicated that humor, specifically laughter, counteracts the devastations of stress on the body and immune system. So, itís obvious to me that a sense of humor would ease the stress of new situations.

We were given (or developed through natural selection, depending how you see it) a sense of humor, the capacity to laugh, for a purpose. It helps us adapt, learn, grow and survive.

Taking yourself and your situation too seriously deprives you of the tool of humor.

Of course, it is possible to take things too lightly. We all know the frustration of having a problem that a loved one won't take seriously enough. We also know people who handle life
like a joke, and never get it together. Actually, this kind of inappropriate lightness usually masks fear; the fear that whatever situation or emotion one doesn't want to deal with is too heavy to handle.

What I see in my practice more often, however, is the other way around. We strive, we are earnest, we care deeply, and we want to do right. We forget about having fun, relaxing and enjoying, waiting for things to calm down, lightening up about how awful it all is.
One of my clients who works in an AIDS hospice told me recently about how surprised he was at how much laughter and humor there was among the seriously ill patients there. Another client who works in a stressful environment found that although the complaints and frustration expressed by coworkers needed to be listened to, it didn't need to be taken too seriously. Most of it was drama, to get his attention when calmness had failed. Often couples I counsel find that taking a problem too seriously blows it out of proportion, until it threatens to overwhelm both of them. Putting it back in perspective restores clear thinking, and the problem is then easily solved.

Human beings are learning devices. We are an adaptable species. Put us in a situation we don't understand, and sooner or later, we figure it out and master it. During these holidays, I invite you to consider making your life as fun and easy as possible.

* Whatever ambition you have, take it lightly.
* When you encounter a problem, take advice from Mary Poppins, and remember "a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down."
* Find as many opportunities for laughter as you can.
* Always read the funnies when you read the grimmer news.
* Focus as much energy on what is funny or positive in your life as you do on the problems. You may be surprised to find that you get even more work done when you take it a little less seriously, when you laugh a little more.

Studies of great human beings, who have helped improve the condition of our lives, shows most of them have fine senses of humor. Groups such as the Jewish people, who have survived great hardships, are known for their humor. Surviving hardship teaches us to laugh.

I believe all our human capacities have meaning in our lives. The capacity to laugh may be simply to bring us closer together, to help us be social units, but I think its existence says something more powerful. My experience in counseling tells me laughter is one of our great healers. Try laughing more. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.

Devote a little time this holiday season to watching a funny movie, sharing funny stories of past holidays gone wrong, and trading jokes and cartoons you find in the paper or online. Yes, there are serious spiritual things to consider during the holidays, there are lots of things to get done and obligations to meet, but I think youíll find itís all lighter and easier if you see the lighter side, too.

© 2009 Tina B. Tessina
adapted from: It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (New Page) ISBN 1564145484© Tina B.Tessina, 2009
If you want more, here are some related articles you can download from my website at http://tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html



Anticipating Change
Aspects of Love
Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude
Creating Holiday Magic
Emotions as Weather
Giving Thanks
How to be Irresistible to Your Mate
How to Have Happier Holidays!
Humor & Hope
Itís a Dirty Job
Learning Forgiveness
Letting Go of Anxiety
Life Lessons
The Meaning of Life
Motivation And How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)
No Two Miracles Alike
Practicing Patience
Relating With Love
Season of Blessing
Turn on Your Charm
Weaving The Web

Appearances Calendar

New! Follow me www.twitter.com/tinatessina
Please look for my newest book: The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart (Adams Media, June 2008) ISBN # 1598694324
The Dr. Romance blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=654038567
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/tinatessina
You can find me on the Internet as "Dr. Romance" on Yahoo!Personals at http://personals.yahoo.com/us/static/content_date;
Divorce360.com: http://www.divorce360.com/articlesbytinatessina/128.aspx
Iím a designated Expert for Redbook Love Network
I'll also answer your questions at http://www.tinatessina.com

Upcoming radio shows, TV, and lectures are all posted on my website at http://www.tinatessina.com and at http://www.booktour.com/author/tina_b_tessina


I welcome your feedback and support, please contact me at tina@tinatessina.com.

Wishing you joy,
Tina B. Tessina, PhD
www.tinatessina.com

MAILBOX
Re: Poison into Medicine

I had no idea about your Diabetes--or that your were tackling the weight and food issues--I'm sorry!! Where was I! This is exactly as you say, bad-good news and you are a shining example to all of us! Thank you thank you. And with no medications--I am so impressed, and then so happy for you. :-) Happiness Tips indeed. Laurie

Thanks, Laurie -- I appreciate your encouragement

Tina, Some really good stuff here, despite its being attached to the news of your diabetes. I wish you luck with managing your life around that condition. I will reread your tips regularly as I rededicate myself to losing some weight/fat. Thanks for your positive influence. Let's hope we both succeed......... Best wishes, Lloyd

Thanks, Lloyd: Share your progress, and weíll do this together.

I was very moved by your story in this email. Cheers to great prevention and healing, LaurieAnn

Thank you, Laurie-Ann. I appreciate your good wishes.

Thanks, Laurie-Ann, I appreciate your support.

Congratulations on taking control of your diabetes! This can be a devastating diagnosis and I want to tell you how much I appreciate your candor concerning your struggles. You are a true inspiration to me and I want you to know how much I appreciate the help you have given me. Congratulations on being proactive concerning your health. It sounds as if you have loving support from Richard. You have a long life ahead of you. Enjoy your vacation, Pam & I care about you. Stay well. Judith

Thanks, Judith, Letís inspire each other.

Tina, I have not had a chance in a while to reach out to you, but I wanted you to know I so appreciate your wisdom always. So many times I read what you write about and I realize how many of the things I am blessed with the ability of understanding. Some of the lessons are difficult but usually when we do the right things, always brings better results and richness into our lives. I am so glad that you have gotten to the bottom of your own physical challenges. Having lived with my MS, I totally get it. Things always happen for a reason. I know why I got MS, and have chosen to embrace the gift I recognized it gave me more so than the poison:). So I get it. Hope you continue to feel good. I am doing well My Doctors are amazed. So there you go. Keep on going. Best, Laura

Thanks for sharing your story and encouraging me, Laura. Congratulations on your growth, too.

Thanks for all of your great emails. Sorry to hear about the diabetes, but seems as though you have a great attitude about it. It's always great hearing from you and you know that I think the world of you. Love, Tom

Thanks, Tom. I appreciate your affection and support.

Dear Tina awaiting your next newsletter, lots of happiness Henry

Here it is, Henry!

Dear Tina: I'm sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis (both my mother and I are diabetic too). So your helpful words are especially useful and appreciated. I'll keep your list handy. TINA = INSPIRATION + MOTIVATION. Happy Thanksgiving! Love, Luisa

Thank you, Luisa! That made me smile, and I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving, also.

Wishing you well real soon. Really liked the last newsletter and will try some of your suggestions. Sorry to hear Richard had health problems also. M.

Thank you, M. I always love getting your feedback.

Thanks for sharing your humanness. I also appreciated your encouragement: "You can feel bad, complain and cry, and still keep trudging toward your goal." I find that the more I allow myself to feel bad when bad things happen, the better I am able to trudge. Ken

Thanks, I agree, Ken -- letting off the pressure is an important life skill.





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