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I am about to change the name of my Newsletter to "Memoirs of a WW II Weatherman."
Why?
Because that's the name of my latest work in progress. I have almost finished it -- unless I decide to make another three month rewrite.
Keep droping by. It should be out in a month -- or a year -- or a century or two.
Please have patience. It's worth the price.
Hank
Newsletter Dated: 1/10/2004 3:24:55 PMSubject: Time to Laugh and Chuckle Welcome to the laugh and chuckle newsletter. Today, I submit a few axioms.
First axiom:
Never waste paper. Always flip it over and use the unprinted side.
Why?
1. It pays to be frugal. Why make the paper industry cut down more trees.
====================================================
2. It's a good precaution. One of my queries came back without nary a note. I almost tossed it into the wastebasket. Then, my frugal nature took over and I salvaged the note for writing down inspirational wisdom -- should any assault me. I'm doubly glad that I did. The side that was supposed to be blank had a note from the editor saying "We would love to see your finished proposal. Please send it in.
======================================================
Second axiom:
Never toss and turn in bed because of an absence of Sandmen.
1. I am a veteran insomniac having survived twelve million sessions of tossing and turning throughout my kinda short life. Then, I got an inspiration. I now get up and sneak into my den where my faithful computer sits all powered up. There, I record inspirations until my back tells me to quit.
====================================================
Third Axiom
Never argue with a back that tells you to quit."
Lame backs are like wives. You should never ignore them. If you ignore your wife for too long, you are apt to end up on the sofa. I find sofas as uncomfortable as my old army cot. After an hour or two, they make my backache like I've been on the rack. Once my back hurts enough, I see the wisdom of making peace with my wife. If I'd been smart, I wouldn't have made her mad in the first place.
That's all for this month. I don't want to stress your funny--bone for fear it might snap -- or you might throw a book at your own CRT.
For more of Hank's offbeat ideas, sign up for his newsletter.
If you just cant wait, click on one of his web site at:
http://www.angelfire.com/space/mark_twain or
http://www.angelfire.com/hi5/humor101
Do you need a humor column? If so, contact me at mark_twain@prodigy.net
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