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Dee C.

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SECRETS LOCKED WITHIN
by Dee C.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Dee C.
•  THE STRUGGLE WITHIN
•  DEATH REFLECTIONS
•  SANCHEZ
•  The Quest
•  ONLY THE INNOCENTS
           >> View all 60


SECRETS LOCKED WITHIN


 


The locked steel box lies heavy upon my lap


Who’d have thought that paper could weigh so much


Secrets lay within its dark confines I must unwrap


A turn of the small silver key opens the lid with the lightest touch


The scent of aging paper takes me back in time


To “Big Chief” tablets, pencil shavings, blackboards of slate and pieces of chalk


Those scratchy crinoline skirts, lace anklets and black and white oxfords that shine


Least not forget the penny candy store just down the block


One document in particular is what I search for


Laying quietly hidden away for over 5 decades


Gently I withdraw a yellowing envelope crinkled and torn


Time worn paper soft as cotton with ink that is fading


Breathless…with pounding heart and shaking hands


I withdraw the long hidden treasure of my past


A document with many legal words and a Judges signature of command


With a swipe of a pen it changes who I am first and last


A birth name that I was given and a mother I never knew


I always thought this information would help fill a void


Visions of a different life I could have had came full view


Instead a larger chasm was left within, so many questions to employ


Years of feeling disconnected from life


The adopted kid who wasn’t as special as the others


School pictures not included, but kept out of sight


My life to them a dirty secret to keep hidden


To live within a family that leaves you feeling empty


Photo albums of past and present with no one that looks like me


An outsider that is always looking in, slowly filling with contempt


Not even in my dreams can I unlock a long gone memory


Within my hands now lays a name I never knew


Something real, a person unlike no other…my mother


Born to a woman/child who really didn’t know what to do


The thought that this long lost box held my future made me shudder


From out of an aging steel box I found a key to my past


A name I never carried, a mother I never hugged


This small silver key unlocked many secrets so fast


I’ll have to treat gently this knowledge and not prejudge


Tread lightly upon this overgrown path of old


As much as I like to know of my past, I may have to let sleeping dogs lie


Another’s life must be considered, having chosen her past untold


To upset the balance of another’s life for selfish reasons I can’t justify


Maybe it’s best to turn and walk away empty handed


I still have the knowledge of a life prior to this one


Someday I may not have to be just an island


I still have names to remind me of how my life began.


 


Dee


© February 2008


 


 


 

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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 5/4/2008
To upset the balance of another’s life for selfish reasons I can’t justify

To me, these verse indicate a "higher road" chosen, Dee. Love and best wishes to you,

Regis
Reviewed by Jon Willey 2/10/2008
The emotion of your poem is quite real to me. For my mother, this poem could have easily been written. I saw her struggle with the want to know her real mother, father, and family. It left life long scars of insecurity and uncertainty. Even though her adopted mother was a saintly woman that gave my mother as much love as anyone could expect of their natural mother. This a very emotionally moving work. Written well enough to make anyone feel the part. Thanks for sharing it with us. Jon Michael Willey
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson 2/9/2008
To know the pain and trials in life of being adopted
I can not know.
You write as if you have a heart of an Angel.
Keep the faith...
Thanks for stopping by
Ron
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 2/8/2008
You leave me breathless with this tale of a journey into one's past. To search for so long and when faced with the truth it seems just as hard a pill to swallow. You have written with much grace and elogant style....

Be always safe,
Karen
Reviewed by John Leko 2/8/2008
...you have penned of light...found in darkness...held in light.
wonderfully written...
John
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 2/8/2008
Lifetime secrets, kept hidden, to be revealed - excellent write, Dee.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.



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