by Calendula Petal
Monday, June 28, 2004
Not rated by the Author.
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Today I had a terrible fright,
a wake up call, a scare,
was in the bath, just having a "shave"
when I felt a lump.....just there...
The mirror confirmed, it was plain to see,
Stay calm and try to remain cool,
but theres a lump on my front bottom!
as the kids call it at school.
I screamed out loud for my hubby,
"I`ve got something I`ve not seen before,
will you take a look at me thingy?
well, he nearly broke down the door!
Now open wide and let me see,
he examined it most carefully,
he prodded and probed then gave it a squeeze
said yes, its a lump, I agree.
I think its a bite from a horsefly,
but can you lie on the bed,
I need more light to be able to see
lay back on the pillow and spread.
So 10 out of 10 for trying to cure
my fears and apprehension,
but had the lump been on my knee
would it have received this kind of attention?
Actually, it was just a bite, that will teach me
for gardening in no knickers!
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|Reviewed by Phillip Carpenter
|Calendua, I have been meaning to tell you that one must be careful to not overwork any portion of the epidermis to avoid callouses. In my case, the posterior gluteus maximus has suffered from overuse due to long hours in a recliner chair and an enlarged thumb from the remote control. Keep writing your imaginative and humorous poems, they are refreshing gems among many pretentiaous maunderings like mine.
|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|This reminds me of "ants in my pants" days... knickers or no knickers! Seems there are just some things we never grow out of... immunity to bug-bites being one of them... and fascination with other people's "bits" another!! Damn frustrating that we can't be the first to investigate our "hidden" parts, though. And I've never been one to believe the mirror, either, and would dearly like to see my own face to check out whether things really ARE that bad!! Alas, some things shall remain a mystery. Like, why bugs in the first place, but don't get Ed K started on that one....!! Bless you. Kate xx|
|Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
|Thank goodness it was only a "bite"! So nice to see you here again! Loved the ending!
|Reviewed by Peter Paton
|Very funny and humourous...at the end...Lol
|Reviewed by Katy Walsvik
|Ha! I quite agree, me sweet amusing muse.. the garden is no place for knickers... obviously, you become one with the earth, never feeling the original offending bite! Sigh... beware the 'medicine man' so eager to come to your aid: he has one or two teeth himself, I suspect! (Yikes!) Nevermind this broken arm.. I tend to knock people down, racing to get here when you post.. it is, indeed, a fabulous treat! "lumpless katy" xox. (but it's only June) Grin.|
|Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader)
|LOL thank you for a big much needed laugh!|
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Hahahahahahahaha...I had the same thing once being pregnant and not able to see down there so very well....and I thought it was a bad thing but turned out to be a damn tick that got hold of me hanging on my "Lip" like a bumblebee...teeeheee!! But Goodness it was itchy for weeks after getting it off me!!
|Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader)
|This is so good to read and so nice to see you here again....
missed you. Again.
|Reviewed by Ed Matlack
|As always a funny awakening to my day, thanks Cal...Peace, Ed & Rufuz|
|Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger
|Good thing you left the cage unlocked…lol!!!… Glad it was only a bug bite. Good write, Poet!!! Thank you for sharing it.|
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|Gardening in no knickers! You are too much, Calendula; and glad to hear it was only a bug bite.
PS If you would let hubby out of his cage more often (saw your note on Ed Matlack's page), I'm sure he would lovingly tend to all your bug bites - knees, elbows, and 'other areas!'