Dearest Mother Martha, Sister Mary's lovely mother.
Tis sure you know me well by now, for I could be no other.
How's life there in the Abby? Wow, I hope its going grand,
My monks life is hard, and the food here tastes like sand.
From dawn till dusk I hear confessions, same ones every day,
But yours by far, have got them beat, I really have to say.
Your penitence amuses me, your sincerity is sincere
But its just so unbelievable; or so says the fictioneer.
Take heart and know you aren't the worst, I'll give you an example
Like IDK LOL, my BFF Larry likes BBQ on fridays dude.
I told him "eat tofu or fish", but he just would not comply,
He said "meat is a necessity, and the friday thing my eye".
Enough with you lets move right on, I wrote you for a reason,
Your daughter to my eyes you see, is really very pleasin'.
Her cooking is sensational, and she's really good at math,
She even washed my toad for me, in'a giant bubble bath.
Flowers I did pick for her, the kind they call rag weed,
Told her that I love her, with that flowery good deed.
I know you don't find favor with the two of us together,
But if you do not let us wed, you'll hear of it forever.
If your daughter was a food you see, I think she'd be an anjou
she's got high speed internet, AND she's into football! woohoo!
In other words, I find her very attractive and she's a very nice person...
she's very sensitive and polite and to top that all off she's a jesuit...
Oh and I like her cooking...
But enough about her, back to you.
Working the confessions booth really has its pluses, see,
The things you tell me are quite juicy.. wouldn't you agree?
I'm sure you'll find it in your heart to let her be my bride,
I swore your secretes would be safe... Sorry but I lied.
Say hi to paul and Joanna, Marcus, bob and ben,
have a good day and by the way, don't get stuck in the dishwasher again.