Jonathan Livingston Pelican
Jonathan was an outcast, dissatisfied with his flock
Wimps who dined on fish guts and dead squid
He loved to fly, to soar, above it all
And watch below as his meek comrades squabbled over scraps
Bouncing on the waves, wasting their existence
He had a love of adventure unlike any of the others
He would swoop and steal a Bloody Mary
Right off the tables on the decks of the cruise ships
Much to the shock and dismay of the passengers and crew
Boldly, bravely, he would repeat this dangerous maneuver
Until finally, too drunk to fly, he would settle back on the waves
And float with his mundane, placid, conformant little flock mates
Then he met two strange pelicans, Moshit and Noshit
They shared with him their secret sacred seaweed
Jonathan soared to heights that he previously could only have imagined
The three flew higher and higher. So high he could no longer see his flock
The flock of course was happy to see this miscreant go
Jonathan reached a higher plane of existence and he was pleased
Then he met the wisest of the pelicans on this plane, Chingadero
Chingadero explained to him that there are ways to fly
Anywhere in the universe, instantly, and offered him a lesson
And so he flew and flew and flew and flew
Everywhere in the universe, instantly
But then Jonathan realized that it was not for him
And he began to miss his old flock mates and Bloody Marys
So he returned to his home to help his wimpy brethren
He described to them his adventures and how, they themselves
Could improve their lives by simply staying true to themselves
Despite being pathetic
So he returned to his flights of bravery and soon all of his flock
Was assisting him in the raids on the ships for Bloody Marys
Before long the entire flock floated on the waves, inebriated
Drunk with the pride of their successful pursuit
And the liquid fruits of their labor
Jonathan was proud, no longer an outcast, accepted, loved
Then came another ship and Jonathan was off
He flew high and grabbed two Bloody Marys at once
But the Captain was ready and he shot Jonathan out of the sky
Stunned, he hit the water looking up at the marksman
“I forgive you,” said Jonathan, “I broke your rules.”
Just then a passing shark swallowed him
The end
Copyright 2009 Patrick A. Granfors