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Patrick A Granfors

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Member Since: May, 2009

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Short Stories
· Strawberry Green Springs

· Transitions

· Drip Line

· Fabulous Eight Bean Soup

· Consequences

· Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

· Phobos-Grunt Re-entry

· My Second Ozark Boat Ride

· Marinating on my TV

· A Penny For My Thoughts?

· Time for Confusion

· Alzyisms Part 7 - Partial Reconciliation

· Alzyisms - Part 6

· Somebody Blinked

· Bend

· Drink About It

· Dominos

· Standard Issue

· Wisdom of the Wind

· Rainy Day Poem

· Can You Imagine

· The Beer Standard

· Kubic

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  Bad Dog Bad Dog - No Biscuit
by Patrick A Granfors
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

This true story posted by CBS News yesterday from Los Banos, California, is for Jasmin and Mr. Ed who Im sure will appreciate.

A duck hunter who, had set his shotgun on the ground with its safety in the on position walked forward about 15 yards to retrieve some decoys was shot with his own gun. His black female retriever had stepped on the weapon and simultaneously disengaged the safety and pulled the trigger, causing the gun to fire, striking the hunter in the upper back with #2 shot. The injuries were said to be not life threatening.

This sort of puts a whole new perspective on the philosophy that, There are no accidents.


Good morning Mr. Master

Please, a bit more to the right

This one’s for awakening me

In the middle of the night


To come out here and splash about

In the wet brush and the cold

This playing with the wooden ducks

Has gotten rather old


Remember when you tricked me

With that little piece of bone

Then threw me on the back porch

So I had to be alone


Do you recall you scolded me

For stealing from the table

Now I’ve noticed cheap dog food

Cause I can read the label


Don’t forget the time you stopped me

 Getting humped by that poodle

Not once have I interfered with you

When mistress messes with your noodle


If you think I don’t need treats

You sadly are mistaken

I’m glad you’re so oblivious

As I sneak your morning bacon


You promised we would take a walk

After each obedience class

But my walk ends up in my back yard

While you sit on your a**


My aim might have been better

If it hadn’t been so rainy

That and if my gun instructor

Hadn’t been Dick Cheney



Affectionately, Yer Dog


Copyright 2010  Patrick A. Granfors





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Reviewed by Ed Matlack 2/9/2010
Too cute & funny, love that last stanza...Ed
Reviewed by L. Figgins 2/7/2010
You nut! Darn it, that karma stuff's a B****, ain't it?

Reviewed by Gerald Tate 2/6/2010
Great stuff, which I really enjoyed. Did the dog get arrested for attempted murder???

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 2/3/2010
Delightfully humorous stuff, Patrick. Thanks for the smiles. Love and peace to you,

Reviewed by Eileen Granfors 2/3/2010
It's a good thing you don't go hunting with Pistol Pete. Nilla would be more reliable. Good one. You even got a LAUGH out of me! e
Reviewed by Sheila Roy 2/3/2010
LOL:) A witty response to the dog story. I read this to my hubby, too.
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 2/3/2010
Hahaha! Hilarious write, Patrick...poor doggie....

Reviewed by Mr. Ed 2/3/2010
I love your last stanza!! Dogs truly are much smarter than many pompous humans care to believe!

And I am honored to be mentioned here, alongside A.D.'s Bird Whisperer, Jasmin. Thanks a bunch, my friend.
Reviewed by Liana Margiva 2/3/2010
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 2/3/2010
Hilarious! and as a dog man, I know they can smile devilishly when putting one over somebody owing them some! Jasmin and PeeWee will be laughing their underwears wet!!! (LOL)
Patrick, what a good sport you are!


Reviewed by E T Waldron 2/2/2010
Patrick,this fantastic poemtakes top bone!
I love your sense of humor Sorry for the poor
guy who must bear the back oain.He should
read this,send him a copy!;-)
Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 2/2/2010
You are too much. I laughed the whole way through and hid this jewel from my dogs. Love it. Liz
Reviewed by Carin Spirit 2/2/2010
Good Dog Good dog!! No more hunting for this season anyway. This is just too funny. Thank you for sharing.
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 2/2/2010
OH man, you're firing from all cannons, Dick Cheney, well, who better than to teach someone to ..... Much amusement dear friend, by the way, I was sure mine could read the labels too, usually I ended up playing french chef. Thanks for the laugh, Jasmin Horst
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader) 2/2/2010
ROFL. Great stuff.
Reviewed by Linda Hill 2/2/2010
Enjoyed this!

Reviewed by Paul Berube 2/2/2010
Great humorous write, Patrick.
Reviewed by D Johnson 2/2/2010
Patrick, this is really funny, enjoyed it very much.


  1. From the Institute of Word-ology
  2. Lack of civility...
  3. The Mailmans Motto
  4. Mushmouth Kostro...
  5. Over internet-ed...
  6. Ah, Shucks
  7. Halloween is Coming!
  8. Sadie Graylow
  9. Democracy at Work
  10. Sunny Days and Mondays
  12. My Ass Is Grass
  13. Summer Doth Approach...
  14. SUCK...
  15. My Good Friday Procedure
  16. Just Around The Corner
  17. This is Ed's computer talking...
  18. A Southern Gentleman...
  19. Confusion say: Men who play with selves r
  20. Kostro's always pickin' on me...AGAIN

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