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Patrick A Granfors

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Short Stories
· Strawberry Green Springs

· Transitions

· Drip Line

· Fabulous Eight Bean Soup

· Consequences

· Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

· Phobos-Grunt Re-entry

· My Second Ozark Boat Ride

· Marinating on my TV

· A Penny For My Thoughts?

· Time for Confusion

· Alzyisms Part 7 - Partial Reconciliation

· Alzyisms - Part 6

· Somebody Blinked

· Bend

· Drink About It

· Dominos

· Standard Issue

· Wisdom of the Wind

· Rainy Day Poem

· Can You Imagine

· The Beer Standard

· Kubic

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  A bit off the deep end
by Patrick A Granfors
Monday, February 22, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

Don't ask.

Twin sisters named Whiner & Diner

Were at home one Saturday night

Whiner just sat around groaning

Diner felt like picking a fight


Sitting on our asses is all that we do

Sister Whiner managed to complain

While my ass is bigger we both have a full figure

Sister Diner protested in vain


So they called upon two of their best old friends

Poker and Choker were their names

They wanted to arrange a hot night on the town

With some good looking men seeking flames


Marvin Chestnut was born with a big butt

He hadn’t been laid in a year

That experience was lacking the mallard still quacking

Sweet nothings into his ear


The company fired him for romantic involvement

With their mascot so widely enamored

His career was destroyed and left unemployed

He headed for Dooley’s to get hammered


The group simultaneously arrived at Dooley’s

With Marvin the only man in the place

The mallard lurked in the shadows

Intent on preventing disgrace


But the women all had their way with Marvin

And Marvin had no complaint

For when you Whiner and Diner & Poker and Choker

There’s no point in showing restraint


Marvin’s big night ended happily

Not the rest I’m sorry to report

While a woman scorned can be a problem

The mallard is demanding chick support



Copyright 2010 Patrick A. Granfors






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Reviewed by Artūrs Lūsis 9/17/2010
finally i've found it - good anecdotal poetry!

thank you! (:D)
Reviewed by MaryGrace Patterson 2/25/2010
FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY..I enjoyed it a lot!!!!......M
Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 2/24/2010
lol. Thanks for the great laugh. Love it. Liz
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 2/23/2010
Hahaha! Tooo funny, Patrick! Thanks for the laughter!

Reviewed by Georg Mateos 2/23/2010
Thanks for all the chuckles! ruffled feathers in the morning is all the rooster wants! A clever and humorous write, you should be carefully now or you will be running the risk of a great laughing readers audience.(that last one was out of jealousy!LOL)


  1. From the Institute of Word-ology
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  3. The Mailmans Motto
  4. Mushmouth Kostro...
  5. Over internet-ed...
  6. Ah, Shucks
  7. Halloween is Coming!
  8. Sadie Graylow
  9. Democracy at Work
  10. Sunny Days and Mondays
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  13. Summer Doth Approach...
  14. SUCK...
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