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Patrick A Granfors

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Short Stories
· First Flight

· Strawberry Green Springs

· Transitions

· Drip Line

· Fabulous Eight Bean Soup

· Consequences

· Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

· Phobos-Grunt Re-entry

· My Second Ozark Boat Ride

· Marinating on my TV

· A Penny For My Thoughts?

· Time for Confusion

· Alzyisms Part 7 - Partial Reconciliation

· Alzyisms - Part 6

· Somebody Blinked

· Bend

· Drink About It

· Dominos

· Standard Issue

· Wisdom of the Wind

· Rainy Day Poem

· Can You Imagine

· The Beer Standard

· Kubic

         More poetry...

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  A Few More Improbable Word Origins
by Patrick A Granfors
Friday, January 14, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
•  Standard Issue
           >> View all 528

Never would have figured.



  • Chastity – Elizabethan derivative of “chase” & “titty”, primarily resulting from the King’s displeasure with his leaping lord’s for their hot pursuit of his ladies’ bosoms which led to the development of specially designed belts.


  • Senators – Derivative of the Arabic word “sena,” which means “to praise” and “toros,” Spanish for “the bull”, hence “to praise the bull.” (see also, “bullshit”)


  • Vocational – Derivative of “vocal” and “occasional”, the ability to control one’s incessant chatter.


  • Probate – Derivative of “probe” and “bait”, the state sponsored dragnet that roots around in your tackle box while fishing for estate revenue.


  • President – Birthers’ derivative of “present” and “identity”, a fragmented group’s contention that Obama’s birth identity and current identity are nationally different.


  • Hebrew – Simple derivative of “He “and “brew”, a male dominated cult of beer makers.


  • Barstool – Another simple derivative of “bar” and “stool” which describes the end result of eating greasy hamburgers at your local tavern.


  • Romantics – Diocesan derivative of “Roman” and “antics,” describing various indiscretions with altar boys.


  • Repulsive – Used to describe the successful implimentation of a defibrillator.


  • Audible – Obnoxious subliminal advertising derivative of “Audi,” the car, and “dibble,” which means to plant.


  • Catatonic  - Used to describe tonic water that has gone flat








Copyright © 2011 Patrick Granfors



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Reviewed by Ronald Hull 1/16/2011

Reviewed by Kate Burnside 1/16/2011
Senators is really convincing, Patrick! Catatonic... hmmmm... isn't this also a word that describes the tranquilising effect some felines have on us stressed-out humans?! :)) These are compelling and addictive... definitions please!!!!!!!!!!!! xx
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 1/15/2011
I love your wit and humor; this is so very clever, Patrick. Thanks for the smiles. Love and peace to you,

Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 1/15/2011
My goodness, this is as precious as the last one you wrote, very creative...

Be always safe,
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 1/15/2011
Hilarious!!!!! Thanks for the chuckles so early on this fine Saturday morning! You're a hoot!!!

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 1/15/2011
funny stuff!
Reviewed by George Carroll 1/15/2011
Now I know why I'm so repulsive. Shocking
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 1/15/2011
You've convinced me to stop eating at my local tavern - just drinks from now on.
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 1/14/2011
A playful and eloquent collection here...
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 1/14/2011

Chip Bergeron
Reviewed by The Poetess 1/14/2011
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 1/14/2011
How in the hell do you think up this stuff, Patrick? I hate to think of the origin of my name: Lichterman....Actually, the name is German for the man that lit the gas lights.
Mark... Uh, like a spot?
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 1/14/2011
He brew, they brew, who knew, most of them drunk on honey wine all the time, you forgot fornicate, but it's not too late, please carry on, I like your dictionary, nary a word is boring.
Hugs! Jasmin Horst
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 1/14/2011
Another "sick" write from he who is the sickest of them all...e

  1. If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2. Dillbert Pickle
  3. I Downloaded A Virus
  4. Like His Mother Used To Do
  5. Somebody Blinked
  6. If women had udders...!
  7. Confusion say: Men who play with selves r
  8. Naughty or Nice...
  9. Dear Santa...
  10. Yeast Infection...?
  11. I Am So Bored...
  12. My Big "Schlong"
  13. Sexy Santa
  14. Pet Port A Potty
  16. Georgie Porgie
  17. Dementia is Contageous
  18. Nite Quill
  19. Doggy Style
  20. White Nose Hair

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