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Patrick A Granfors

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  Caturdstrophe
by Patrick A Granfors
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

On April 14, 2010 I posted a set of 5-7-5’s lamenting my failed toilet’s lack of available replacement parts, followed by a December 7th 2010 acknowledgment that it was time to actually replace the damn thing. Eileen reminded me yesterday it had been a year since she made her seemingly reasonable initial request. (It was actually a year and 13 days). Hey we have TWO toilets here! Nevertheless fate intervened yesterday forcing immediate action. I successfully replaced it this morning. I will reiterate……I really hate doing plumbing work.

To the tune “Sugar in the Morning”


Floaties in the bath tub

Floaties in the shower

Floaties across the floor

Must call Roto-rooter this thing don’t flush no more

 

I should have done this last week

Or maybe a month before

I know it was running slowly

A stinky problem was is store

 

Oh

Floaties in the bath tub

Floaties in the shower

Floaties across the floor

Must call Roto-rooter this thing don’t flush no more

 

What the hell was I thinking?

How lazy can I be?

Now I’m out two hundred dollars

Just so I can take a pee

 

Oh

Floaties in the bath tub

Floaties in the shower

Floaties across the floor

Must call Roto-rooter this thing don’t flush no more

 

Paid the man a fortune

For snaking out the clog

But for what the poor guy had to do

He's not living high off the hog

 

No

Floaties in the bath tub

Floaties in the shower

Floaties across the floor

I finally got off my dead ass and finally, finally, finally

Finally, my butt can roar!

 

 

Copyright 2011 Patrick Granfors

 

 




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Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 3/15/2011
Hahahahahahahaha!!! This is hilarious! Thanks for the lovely little ditty...I'll be humming it all day long...giggle...

Anna
Reviewed by Regis Schilken 3/14/2011
This is hysterical. It brings back memories of floaties in my garage and coming out of the vent in thre driveway. I rented a roto rooter device only to have it disconnected in the drain. To retrieve it, I had to have part of the driveway dug up to get rid of the floaties. You are 100% correct. The floatie man deserves what he gets paid!

rege
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader) 3/14/2011
i think you should perhaps be a little more transparent about what's really happening over in patrick's world! i see deep metaphorical allegories here which give me much to ponder and yes, i did and always do enjoy such things immensely.
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader) 3/14/2011
Oh my heavens too much info.. cute indeed sweet man..Hugsss
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 3/14/2011
Eileen reminded me yesterday it had been a year since she made her seemingly reasonable initial request.

I've painfully learned that a nice, clean, functioning toilet is truly the way to a woman's heart!
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 3/13/2011
Remember the road to hell is paved with stinky, squishy floaties.
Mark
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 3/13/2011
And you complain about my "stinky" fart poems; I think this was a bit TMI, who wants to even think about you and your butt tooting to the sound of Sugar in the Morning...e
Reviewed by Susan Bergeron 3/13/2011
a real rootin tootin kind of problem...good poem...Sue
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 3/13/2011
That sounds only too familiar....hasve you been using my plumbing...

Chip Bergeron
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 3/13/2011
Plumbing is always with us, like death and taxes. Got rocking to this dirty little ditty.

Ron
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 3/13/2011
Oh my goodness Patrick! I'm glad things have gotten flushed out...ha ha!
Happy tooting,
Christine
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 3/13/2011
Tuuuuuuurdiffic, Patrick! Reminds me of old seventies rock festivals when the bogs were... just that, and even more so when the heavens opened. Sounds to me like your innards are in the peak of health, though... if you're producin floaties... Now you got plumbin to match! :)) xx
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