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Patrick A Granfors

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  38DD
by Patrick A Granfors
Friday, April 29, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528


No it's not about that.

Photo:Of Nilla by Patrick Granfors


Thirty eight double D

Translation doggie derriere

Nilla put on a few more pounds

Than Kali our 20 pound terrier

 

Got the evil eye from the vet

As she stepped up on the scale

Thirty eight pounds on a little frame

Makes her a furry little whale

 

Got the lecture about her future health

Tied directly to what she weighs

Now we’ll have to ration chow

So we don’t shorten up her days

 

She took the news quite poorly

No more cheese or pizza crust

Now she’s the one giving the evil eye

For doing what we must

 

It’s sort of like calling the kettle black

As I comfort this sullen mutt

I notice that she keeps staring

At the size of her master’s gut

 

So maybe I should share the pain

A chance to join her with her diet

But fair warning to our pack mates

Beware a potential food riot

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2011 Patrick Granfors

 

 

 




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Reviewed by K. Mulroney
This is so funny, I have been on the same end as you with my Rottie's. Had to stop sharing the Cheetos's which was good cause I don't need them either. Great rhyme in this giggler!
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
I guess I could be considered mean. I restricted my Jazz to geriatric dog food and one milk biscuit a day to clean his teeth. That made him a very happy, healthy, frisky pup until he died fighting a big dog at 10 or so years old. The best part was that I never stepped in any stinky gooey poop in the yard–it was always dry and hard and made great fertilizer.

A good lesson I'm trying to keep in my life in spite of all the treats everyone wants to give me, like a surprise Mother's Day party at work with spaghetti, cake and ice cream. Get the picture?

Ron
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron
I wish success to both you and your friend. Losing it is never as easy as gaining it!

Chip Bergeron
Reviewed by Regis Auffray
You got my attention... ...and kept it, Patrick. Well done. Love and best wishes,

Regis
Reviewed by Richard Henkel (Reader)
The Biggest Doggie Loser she'll never be
Not with those deep brown limpid pools
and the Nilla wafer love-me look.
Now just one little piece of pizza crust
Then tell me more of those double D's
Reviewed by neerja gandhi
hee hee heee..very enjoyable..Besties to Nilla and you for sharing.. :)neerja
Reviewed by Richard King
Poor Nilla. She'll probably never be able to figure out why she no longer gets her pizza crust. She'll be thinking that Master PG has turned into Monster PG (and you'll be rationalizing that its all in her best interests) TOUGH LOVE, my friend. Nice write, Seen her picture before in writes by Momma Master.

Thanks Dick
Reviewed by D Johnson
I just had an idea...what if you create an infomercial for doggy diets, using your little friend as the spokesdog, I don't think you'd be barking up the wrong tree.

Cheers,
Dan
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Share The Pain,
You'll Both Gain (Lose).
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman
You know what does it, don't you? It's those big brown eyes. Kody is my fourth Cavalier King Charles and, as the other three, damn, if he's not on his way to being a 38DD. Of course, though, If I cut the noshing so would he.
Mark
Reviewed by Paul Berube
Good humor nicely put to poetry, Patrick. Well done. Hmmmmmmmmmm......
GOOD HUMOR ..................ICE CREAM !!!! yum
Reviewed by Christine Tsen
Absolutely a hilarious confusion with the title, and then some fabulous stripped down reality. Very sweet, too, and I'm going to attempt to join you on limiting my cookies. :)
Christine
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Adorable picture and poem; well done, Patrick! Enjoyed~

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Texas, Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Awww, damn, I was truly hoping you were talking about your "pec's" as man boobs are so damn sexy...LOL...stop feeding the dog those pizza crusts, send them to me instead...that part of the pizza I "think" I can eat...? ed
Reviewed by Eileen Granfors
She would appreciate your SUPPORT while she loses ten pounds. You have imagined the scene at the vet very well. . .it went exactly like that, Mr. Pizza-Dough Sharing Person. Next time, you go for the lecture. She's still our precious Ewok.
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Giggle...you're tooooo funny,Patrick! The title initially drew me in....then I read the poem....Adorable write, my friend!

Anna
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader)
OMG I thought it was ooops.... aweee ya both got to take care of your selves sweet man and sweet doggie oh my so cute....Hugss
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