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Patrick A Granfors

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Short Stories
· Strawberry Green Springs

· Transitions

· Drip Line

· Fabulous Eight Bean Soup

· Consequences

· Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

· Phobos-Grunt Re-entry

· My Second Ozark Boat Ride

· Marinating on my TV

· A Penny For My Thoughts?

· Time for Confusion

· Alzyisms Part 7 - Partial Reconciliation

· Alzyisms - Part 6

· Somebody Blinked

· Bend

· Drink About It

· Dominos

· Standard Issue

· Wisdom of the Wind

· Rainy Day Poem

· Can You Imagine

· The Beer Standard

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by Patrick A Granfors
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

The City Council of our little municipality of two hundred thousand or so souls decided that we needed a moniker, a slogan, a touchy-feely identifier to bind its citizens into one big happy family. They held a contest to choose our new identity and this was selected as the best entry….”Awesometown”

To rub it in, they then erected a sign, much like the Hollywood sign, at the City Limits so that we can all admire it every day. Now I’ve even seen bright and shiny “Awesometown” advertising panels at Burbank Airport. I really need to barf.

Photo: By Patrick Granfors

“The imagination of any given population is inversely proportional to its purported intelligence   ……….Patrick Granfors


Sorry, not feeling very awesome today

In this awesome little town

In its awesome little way


The crime rate is dropping the newspapers claim

Till you look at their headlines

Which contradict same


The traffic is lousy and drivers are rude

In a town named for airheads

The valley girls’ own brood


In public the adults all act worse than their brats

Especially at soccer games

Where moms get into spats


Where education is everything till the home work is due

Where the promise of free hot dogs

Is a real stampede cue


Where do-gooders trample on pure common sense

Where neighbors are friendly

Behind their 14 foot fence


So Possumtown is where I reside

Where I bitch and I moan

In peace and with pride


But for some perspective the hard time it I give

Despite what they’ve named it

There are worse places to live


In a town with few possums where a King I can be

Where I rule without subjects

And that’s just fine by me





Copyright 2012 Patrick Granfors



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Reviewed by Richard King 1/24/2012
Give it a chance, maybe it will grow on you. Awesometown,,,,, Awesometown,,,,, say it a few times,,,,,, let it roll around on your tongue. There now, that's better isn't it? ISN'T IT?!?!?! . . . . It isn't, is it!!!


Dick from "The Treasure Coast"
Reviewed by Eileen Granfors 1/20/2012
We always suspected the city council was a sham. This sign verifies how desperate and out of touch they are. Remember the Humvee that mowed down the Corolla in the 99 cent store driveway?

How soon until MO?
Reviewed by Vivian Dawson 1/19/2012
This even made me feel sorry
for the few possums *Patrick*

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 1/19/2012
Giggle....hilarious writing, Patrick!

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 1/18/2012
well said!
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 1/18/2012
As one who like possums, and who often gets called to gently remove them from feral cat traps because no one else will go near them, I would truly be impressed if you actually lived in Possumtown. But Awesome Town? That was the Best Entry??!!
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 1/17/2012
I find signs like that to be gaudy & an eye-sore...My home town in NJ, Sea Isle City, has a big sign over one of its streets that borders the bay area where all the fishing boats come in and I find that sign, "Welcome to Fish Alley" to be quite disgusting...though the town fathers seem to think it attracts tourists spending their money...maybe I am just too old fashioned...e
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 1/17/2012
With a sign like that, there is potential, it takes time, Hollywood wasn't build in a day either, you are a star, and there might be more hiding behind those tall fences, God knows. Bless ya,
Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger 1/17/2012
Oh, the grandeur of "Possumtown" hilarious write ~ Patrick~
Lady Mary Ann
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 1/17/2012
Hilariously entertaining!
Reviewed by Paul Berube 1/17/2012
Right on, Patrick.
Reviewed by Lonnie Hicks 1/17/2012
You have the knack for fun humor welded with serious points. Great.
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 1/17/2012
Oh, come on, Patrick, my ol' buddy. It can't possibly be all that bad there. If so, how's about moving about thirty miles south and we'll make room for you in Thousand Oaks. And know what? I'd love to have you as a neighbor 'cause maybe some of your written artistic ability may rub off on me and, though, beer ain't really my thing, I'd be only too happy to lift one or two or, maybe, even three with you..
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 1/17/2012
We do like to exalt ourselves, don't we, Patrick?

You covered all bases here, and for that, I applaud you.
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 1/17/2012
Oh Lordy, Lordy....I've been in a few rtowns like rthat. I believe it's called "hubrus."

Chip Bergeron

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