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Patrick A Granfors

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  Budweiser’s Revenge
by Patrick A Granfors
Friday, May 25, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

In an unprecedented move, and at the urging of the struggling former US beer maker Anheuser Busch, the United State’s Government has declared war on Mexican beer brewers. NASA, in collaboration with NOAA, launched hurricane “BUD” this week with its intended target Mazatlan, home of brewer “Pacifico,” which is currently claiming market share from Budweiser. As of this writing, the guidance system has failed and landfall is projected to be closer to Puerto Vallarta. No brewers are threatened. InBev, the Belgian/Brazilian conglomerate that owns Anheuser Busch denies any knowledge of the hostile action.

Never mess with Texas

Never mess with BUD

Since Mexico never learns

We’re sending you a flood


To wipe out all your brewers

Who compete with our fine suds

We will go to any length

To limit consumer choice to BUDs


We know your beer is better

And it has a cheaper price

This is simple economics

And we’re not playing nice


Consider this our first attempt

To wipe out your beer cartel

We’re gonna’ nip it in the BUD

You’ll have no more beer to sell


Tell Montezuma to pound sand

His revenge he cannot plead

For the second time in 500 years

He’s been plucked by foreign greed





Copyright © 2012 Patrick Granfors



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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 5/31/2012
I appreciate your wit and humor, Patrick; also the intended meaning within your verses. Love and peace to you,

Reviewed by William Bonilla 5/28/2012
a Kool Write Patrick
Thanks for sharing
Peace be with you

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 5/28/2012're hilarious, Patrick!!

Reviewed by Ronald Hull 5/27/2012
You never at a loss for coming up with hilarious poems about current events. Keep them coming!

Reviewed by Vivian Dawson 5/26/2012
Not a beer drinker myself...*Patrick*
I do enjoy my wine though; however, I
support any cause to exalt the USA!!!

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 5/25/2012
I guess one might call me some kind of a traitor, but I'm into Corona. Although, really, vodka/tonic is more my kind'a stuff.
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 5/25/2012
Christine know good beer, Budd, anythings better than Coors, right?
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 5/25/2012
Perhaps their aim was off because they were too intoxicated!
I'm partial to German beer myself, the bitter the better.
do you like the soda lemon bitter? quinine in that stuff. Lemon bitters. I like stuff that's not so sweet.
I'm so grateful when you keep me up on the news! Thank you thank you...
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 5/25/2012
Just don't let any storm screw with Mexicos weed growing abilities...since I don't drink at all anymore, I could care less what happens to beer...any beer, from anywhere...;-)e
Reviewed by Richard King 5/25/2012
I've been a Bud man for a good many years, even wrote a poem about it a spell back, titled A BUDDY: The last verse finished up like this:
“A REAL GOOD BUDDY” might not turn you into an alcoholic, but it won’t be from lack a tryin. - - - Why do ya think they call it BUD...weiser?

So, you cain't convert me to some cheap ol Mexican brew without a fight, good Buddy. Dick

Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 5/25/2012
Samuel Adams!!!
Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater 5/25/2012
Here's to Budd!
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 5/25/2012
Greed / Smead / Greed is good. Good greed, here greed, good greed . . .
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