by Uriah J. Fields
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.
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What does "permissive relating" have
in common with the "permissive will"
of God? What is the proper response
to make when relating to a permissive doer?
You have a right to know.
No lack of attention has been given to the
"permissive will" of God i.e., what God allows
a person to do that is sin or contrary to his
"perfect will" and the cosequences of such
behavior, not only for the perpetrators but for
those impacted by their behavior.
Here, no attempt is being made to discuss
theologically, or otherwise, God's perfect will
or permissive will. Howerver, it is important to
recognize the difference between the two
and be aware of the way God responds,
especially to permissive will doers. God
recognizes permissive will acts as sin and
sin has consequences.
Like God, a human being has a will, a "health
will," centered in goodness and rightness or
a "destructive will," centered in egoism and
pleasure. Man has the power of choice and
discermment. In this respect, man is a
"little" god. For no other creature has been
so endowed. Also like God he has the ability,
and maybe the obligation, to respond
responsibly to the permissive behavior of
people with whom he ralates.
But what should that response be with regard
to the people he relates with who are engaged
in permissiveness? And what about his own
involvement in permissive behavior? The
matter is: "How should a person act with
regard to being permissive and how should
he respond to the behavior of those engaged
in permissive activity? Relating extends beyond
an indivdidual to involve one or more
persons. It is in relationships that a person
finds his noblest meaning and has his most
satisfying experiences. It is also in relationships
that a person experiences the greatest degree
of destructiveness which often begins with
A brief look at "permissive parenting" may
offer some insight into permissive relating with
humans of all ages. Permissive parenting is
characterized by parents allowing considerable
self-regulation for the child and avoiding
confrontation. The parent may tolerate or
disapprove of the child's behavior while
refusing to intervene. History is replete with
testimonies from permissive parents who
regret their hands-off parenting and permissive
children who attribute their troubled lives to
permissive parenting. Yet, there are parents
who have been spared anguish and destruction
because they did not seek to police their
children or enforce strigent boundaries for
them to observe.
What is the proper or healthy response for a
person to make regarding permissive relating?
Is there a single standard? It is obvious that
God has a standard regarding his perrmissive
will? Should humans allow, encourage or engage
willingly in permissive relating? Shoud they
accept, approve, encourage, reward or punish
those committing permissive acts? Or, should
they ignore such acts whenever possible as
a permissive parent does, turn-their heads,
so to speak, when faced with such behaviror?
Whatever standard one has should include,
"to mine one's own business," whenever
possible. Yet, there are times when a person
can be helpful to others and need the help
of others. Beware that other people are not in
this world to live up to your expectations and
you are not in this world to live up to the
expectations of others. This alone, will go
a long way in enableing a person to not
engage in or inappropriately respond to
the permissive behavior of others. Be
aware that you have not been placed
among the nearly 7 billion people on Planet
Earth to save the world. Ponder this thought:
"Each person has to work out his own soul
salvation in fear and trembling."
This assignment can help a person to handle
permissive relating with the greatest degree
of effectiveness. On one sheet of paper write
down the things that at one time you considered
to be right but no longer consider to be right.
On a separate sheet of paper write down the
things that at one time you considered
to be wrong but no longer consider to be
wrong. Reflect upon the things you have
written down and be aware of what you have
learned or can learn from this assignement.
This could prove to be the best insight you
will ever receive on permissive relating.
Copyright 2012 by Uriah J. Fields
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|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|I had permissive parents who gave me responsibility for my own actions early in life. We lived in a bad neighborhood, and by ten years of age I knew right from wrong and how to avoid the trap so many young people in the neighborhood fell into. The most troubled are those parents who give their children no slack to learn right and wrong and dictating everything… leading to rebellion eventually.