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She grabbed me by my floppy ears
said "I'll smooch you tell you whine"
Still all I could be thinkin bout
was that lonely jug of shine

Uncle Fester told me "Skeeter
when a gals het up like this
the only thing that cure's them
is a wet and sloppy kiss"

With lips still chaped from last time
and my ears bright flaming red
if I want to go on living
better do just what he said

So I grabbed her by her gall-dern head
made her hollor, made her twist
then I turn and start to walk away
that's when she grabbed me by my wrist

Now she's pantin and a wezzin
as she leads me by the han
to that well known grassy place
where a man becomes a man

Soon her daddy come's a callin
said he knew what I done did
said I'd better get things fix-ted up
said to run he tad's forbid

Now the preacher tells me "Skeeter
don't you worry you'll do just fine"
But all I'm really thinkin bout's
that lonely jug of shine