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Charlotte Russell Johnson

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Member Since: Before 2003

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Books by Charlotte Russell Johnson
Daddy's Hugs
by Charlotte Russell Johnson

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Recent poems by Charlotte Russell Johnson
•  No Harm… No Offence…
•  It’s Easier to Hide
•  These Cycles
•  Black Sheep, Black Sheep
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Daddy’s Hugs

What exactly is it that you expect of me?
Please define it for me?
Is it something that I could never be?
Is it something that I don’t know how to be?

A daughter to my mother?
Is that what you expect me to be?
That’s a bit confusing to me…
She’s trying to be something she could never be...
A Mommy and a Daddy to me…
So what is it that you expect me to rise above?
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no Daddy’s love…

A mother to my child?
Why would you expect that of me?
I’ve got my own issues, can’t you see?
There is still a hole inside of me…
No one has defined a man’s love for me…
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no Daddy’s love…

A father to my daughter?
Did you really expect that of me?
Coddle her, hold her, reassure her…
Is that what you really expected from me?
Fondle her, molest her, and threaten her…
That’s what it meant to me…
Who was my example supposed to be?
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no
Daddy’s love…

A father to my Son?
How could you expect that of me?
That’s the laughing one…
I still wonder where “Real Men” come from…
Who was supposed to teach that to me?
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no
Daddy’s love…

A son to my mother?
Is that what you expect from me?
Where was I supposed to learn that from?
Was she the one I was supposed to get my masculinity from?
She confused me with all her sensitivity...
My Daddy she could never be…
Who was the example to me?
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no
Daddy’s love…

A wife to my husband?
Is that something you really expected of me?
Honor him, respect him, and support him?
What’s that supposed to mean to me?
I have only seen strong independent women…
I don’t have that identity…
Who was supposed to teach that to me?
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no
Daddy’s love…

A husband to my wife?
Is that something you really expected of me?
Respect her, protect her, and be faithful to her…
What’s that supposed to mean to me?
Neglect her, beat her, and cheat on her...
That’s what it means to me…
I don’t have that identity…
Who was supposed to teach that to me?
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no
Daddy’s love…

Faithful and true ?
You must be kidding me.
Who was my example supposed to be?
Who was committed to me?
He said he was coming back…
Who was supposed to pick up the slack?
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no
Daddy’s love…

A respectable member of society?
Now please define that for me.
All I know is what I see on TV…
Crime, murder, hatred, and drugs are all around
me…
Now you tell me not believe what I see?
You must be kidding me…
It’s my environment that I see…
Who was supposed to provide for me?
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no
Daddy’s love…

An example for me?
How can this be?
Please explain that to me?
I had no Daddy’s hugs, no Daddy’s kisses, and no
Daddy’s love…
You say there is one who knows how to love me?
How can He love a failure like me?
He loves me so much that He died for me?
You mean there is one who cares about me?
He’ll give me Daddy’s hugs, Daddy’s kisses,
and Daddy’s love…

Reaching Beyond
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Reviewed by Blondie Clayton 12/27/2010
Charlotte, my heart was pricked by the honestly spoken words disclosing a search for what is expected, yet never been taught.
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 4/2/2003
Thoughtful and challenging....
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 4/2/2003
So wonderful and tender this one.
Peg