by Jacqueline M. Baker
Friday, November 22, 2002
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I often sit and wonder why
I cannot force myself to cry.
I try so hard but no tears come
Iíve always been the toughest one.
I think I was an accident
Mother hurt, Nurse father was sent.
They didnít even love one another.
He pushed her around and hit my brother.
I wish I could tell you more of my pain
But I blocked it out with nothing to gain.
At age nine my mom gave me away
Ignored me but saw my brother everyday.
Jealous? Possibly but what am I to think?
Was I just as important? Was I on the brink?
I was angry and mad at her then and now.
I was always asking myself why and how?
I gave up on that hurt and pain
Because from it there was nothing to gain
But I still cannot cry nor show any emotion
Is there an answer, some kind of potion?