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OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper

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Member Since: Nov, 2002

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Serious Fish
by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

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A write of a serious fish, hooked and then unhooked, no appreciation for the swim free.

Walking on
water,
floating on
clouds,
Angels of
perfection,
God's of
others,
too uptight
in sight,
too serious,
got too be right.


All pieces
of the puzzle
must be legit,
one missing,
so pitches
 the fit.
Not knowing
how to relax,
walking in
heart attack
tracks.
Nothing
good enough,
never understood
enough.
So travels the
world of perfection,
the uptight too
serious connection.


The better than
others,
thinking mind
that smothers.
Eye of keeness,
hand of meaness,
Non forgiving,
no mistake or
break, my way
or the high way.


Many years
of writing,
but wrong
in the sighting,
vision of the
 eagle,
heart of no
hearts,
we all squat
to toilet,
none better
than,
any other life
span.                                                                     G                                                                        


A fish on                                                               pan.
the hook,                                                               a
caught in                                                                 in
the net,                                                                  Fry
let go. Does                                                         the fish.
     not appreciate                                                  again
         being set free, still chasing                     hook
              the same hook, same fisherman may
                                         


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Reviewed by serenety L 11/1/2003
Like the poem, but even more the style you wrote it. How the f...did you do this? Absolutely great.
Nico
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 10/29/2003
Grady....creative write at its very best....congrats!!!!
Reviewed by Maria Lupinacci 10/29/2003
Great, creative work Grady!
I really enjoyed this!

Hugs,
Maria
Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader) 10/29/2003
Whew Grady what a cleverly crafted wonderful write, and I love how it formed a hook!
~Nikki~
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 10/29/2003
This is very well crafted Grady!!

Gee...I tried do do this format...and did not work for me...lol!!

Big hook you've got here...hehehehehe!!

Love to do some fishing myself lol!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 10/29/2003
(((grady)))

now this is clever! well done, my imaginative friend--and what a hook at the end! you done caught me, hook, line and sinker!

(((HUGS))) and love,

karla. :)
Reviewed by Carolyn Red Bear (The Bear Paw) 10/29/2003
I love this, Grady! More than one message here, and I love the hook at the end.... smiles..... stay strong....
In Spirit,
Bear
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 10/29/2003
So creative and well penned, Grady.
Reviewed by john zimmerman 10/29/2003
cleverly shaped poem

nicely crafted

good write

john+
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