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evan m horetsky

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My Heart was what it Cost
by evan m horetsky

Monday, May 01, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by evan m horetsky
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           >> View all 121

Who are you? And why couldn't you show yourself now,
When you broke into the truth and destroyed my heart, how?
Did you even fear what was happening, the world manufactured,
The thin line of lies left loving lay, fractured.


Cracked? Sure, tender hearts beat back even when bled,
Looking through hazel pupils, I find inside only deep reds.
Were you dead inside? Or simply wounded from the mistake,
Of the addiction to drunken smiles, or the words he did fake.


Why wander away from the love you had, the caring you knew forever?
Did you know you would be caught, did you even think? Never.
I thought you brought back to me the words I gave to you freely,
Instead you worked your web of lies and in my heart; you kneed me.


And it pains me the most to learn these stains trully changed you,
Roll up your sleeves, wash clean, maybe your heart remains new.
I guess it's the mask I miss the most, smiling eyes I called yours,
Peeled off only to reveal tears draining down the contours.


Finding these lips were not yours, and barely even mine,
Somehow through it all, you still found the time.
To sleep with the grime left at the bottom of these boys,
Were we all meaningless? Each tinkering on as your toy?


The joy I had when I thought I had your joy all alone,
Maybe I put you in a corner, and your story became known.
Was your present so offensive that you found the past so greeting?
Look back to your scarred past and find a fated meeting.


And I can never forget the face that actually showed me love,
At least your beauty was one thing that came from above.
But your mind was tainted, and long ago your soul fainted trying,
i wanted to save you, but all that I gave you was a week worth of crying.


I'll never find another to match those silky lips,
Or the day that shell necklace was all I hadn't kissed.
I tried to be everything you could ever want, and I couldn't
I should be able to move on, but deep down i know i shouldn't


Because you caged me up, and even though you live another life,
I thought once long ago that this is all I would want in a wife.
You were afraid to show me who you were, when I loved everything you are?
I wished one day you could finally tell me the real life under that shooting star.


I tried, and tried, and tried, and cried but you could never tell it true ,
And for some reason it always seemed it was me, coming back to you.
You thought you had me in your fist, so your heart could go wherever,
I hope you find they can offer the things we could have had, together.


You're free now, but you're stuck in the moment of when you could say we,
You'll never believe it, but one day I know you'll find much better than me.
We lived in a world, though, that wasn't the truth, and in order to make amends,
You have to show me where your real love begins, and where your stories end.


It's the hardest part of getting lost, finding you're alone,
Knowing that long ago you could find your way back home.
All I end up now is in your eyes, where once again I'm lost,
I loved an angel that hid from me, and my heart was what it cost.

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Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/2/2006
Outstanding write!!

Love Tinka



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