Twinkie 'n Coatrack, sakes alive!
Bring you the news every night at five,
straight from the imbecile TV hive.
Twinkie 'n Coatrack: Junk 'n Jive.
Look at that guy, he's Mister Kewl.
Hairspray and teeth, his Golden Rule.
Too bad he's such an egregious fool.
Johnny McCoatrack, network tool.
Perky blonde Twinkie, pretty, too.
Eyes a fantastically empty blue.
Ignorant creature without a clue.
Show off your legs, Miss Twinkie-poo!
Twinkie 'n Coatrack, from the heart.
Don't let the teleprompt fail to start.
Neither can ad lib; they're not too smart.
Twinkie 'n Coatrack, fall apart.
Twinkie 'n Coatrack, dumb as cheese.
Silly ephemeral showbiz fleas.
Terminal Intellect Rot Disease.
Twinkie 'n Coatrack?