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Iolanthe Woulff

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Member Since: May, 2010

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· She's My Dad

· A British Petroleum Afternoon

· Mom-in-Law

· That P Word

· Organized Religion

· So Long, Mr. Hot Pants

· Slough of Despond

· Malibu Majesty

· Lament for Eden

· The Faithbug

· Rain of Toxic Terror

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Iolanthe Woulff, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

  Chemical Appeal
by Iolanthe Woulff
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Iolanthe Woulff
•  Purple Pickles
•  La Vieja Loca
•  The Bug
•  The Callous Sophisticate
•  The Web
           >> View all 56

"Better living through Chemistry"...
Oh, really?

My best friend went out for a chemical peel
on a beautiful midsummer day.
She never came home. Disappeared off the earth;
overdid it, I guess, in some way.

I drove my car down to the Luxury Wash.
"No Harsh Chemicals Used", read the sign.
They rinsed all the paint off along with the dirt,
and said: "Too bad. Don't hold up the line."

I took my dog in for a clip and a cut,
and a tick dip, her bites so to cure.
She dissolved in the bath; they apologized later:
"It happens. So sorry, I'm sure."

I sent for the Chemical Gardener Boys
to ensure me a front yard of green.
They sprayed on their magic and turned the lawn black,
then called ME a hysterical queen!

I called in the Bug Man to come spray my home,
just slightly; enough to kill roaches.
He hosed the house down with Diazanon Death,
killing all my plants, and my prize loaches.

I spent thirty bucks for some costly perfume
which contained, so they swore, mystic power.
It had some mysterious power, all right,
since my skin came right off in the shower.

I went out to sea in a sportfishing boat
when I visited Dad at the shore.
We caught three dead seagulls, six condoms, a tire,
and a bass without eyeballs, what's more.

The truth of the matter is, like it or not,
all these poisons are kind of a pain.
And if we don't do something pretty darn soon,
we are finished;
and that, friend, is plain.



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Reviewed by D Johnson 7/7/2010
Who says we are not ruining this planet. If we can't take care of this one, how could we ever expect to take care of someplace in a far off galaxy?


Books by
Iolanthe Woulff

She's My Dad

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  1. distant drama and mended wounds
  2. Ruby Red
  3. fettered footprints
  4. Love is Like a Flower
  5. Hands On Arms Around
  6. In Sleep
  7. Words Will Never Express How Lucky I am to
  8. Withdrawn...
  9. Blood Of A Slave, Heart Of A King
  10. You Donít Know Me
  11. G R A S S
  12. The Liar
  13. A Little Drop of Rain
  14. Dead River Blues for Langston
  15. They Pity Me
  16. A Poem In MInd
  17. Let Me Love You
  18. The Sky Beckons Me
  19. Faith, Courage, Wisdom, Strength, and Hope
  20. Innocent Nakedness

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