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Tom Hyland

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Member Since: Feb, 2003

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Books
· The New Jerusalem - Chapters 1 - 5

· Bawlmer, Merlyn - Home of The Hons


Short Stories
· CHICKEN SCRATCHES ?

· DADDY ... ADDENDUM

· DADDY, WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE MILITARY?

· THREE LITTLE ... EDS !

· ALL MY CARS - PART 2

· ALL MY CARS

· AU-TO-MO-BILES

· BIG LUG CONTINUED !

· SLURPEES !

· THE BIG LUG !


Articles
· GOD BLESS THE @#%^ CORPORATIONS!

· BERRIES

· MEDIOCRITY ... THY NAME IS ... APATHY

· TALK IS CHEAP !

· The BLIMP

· 9 / 11 : PRESS For TRUTH

· NEW WORDS WITH FRIENDS

· BEATING A DEAD HORSE ?

· IF I WON ... ?

· Delegate or Stagnate


Poetry
· SHRIMPY

· OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...

· ALL HALLOWS EVE

· HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW

· CONTEMPLATING BAMBI’S NAVEL

· DANGLING PARTICIPLES ?

· BIG 5 0 !

· COURAGE

· AS FOR ME ...

· LIFE IS LIKE ... A BOOK

         More poetry...
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· JERSEY DEVIL... aka KNAVE WUSS-A-LOT Update !

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· ED MATLACK IN HOSPITAL !

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  COMBINATIONS, PERMUTATIONS, CONFABULATIONS
by Tom Hyland
Friday, November 21, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Tom Hyland
•  SHRIMPY
•  OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...
•  ALL HALLOWS EVE
•  HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
•  CONTEMPLATING BAMBI’S NAVEL
           >> View all 514




Well, Gurlz n' Ghouls - this little ditty, song, poem, verse - took about two hours to Confabulate.

I hope your appetite it does Sate!

When the hour of the evening is quite, quite Late,

I hope it does not Haunt you, may your Nightmares Abate!




Combinations, Permutations, Confabulations

© - Tom Hyland - 11-21-08

What if - instead of The Rapture,
Devotees were waiting for The Rupture?
To Trap, is to Capture,
Ergo, using a cup - ‘twould be to Cupture?

To Christen - is to Baptize,
Upending a boat, is to Capsize.
Someone Debonair is Dapper,
And a Toilette is a John - or Crapper!

To Move out from an enclosed area is to Debouch,
Yet, an Exit for troops is a Debouche’ -
An immoral, self-indulgent person is a Debauchee,
And a previously married woman is a Divorce’.

Flotsam and Jetsam are Debris,
And Swallows return to the Isle of Capri!
( OOPS! Or is it Capistrano? )
A reduction in value or quality is Debasement,
While junk is found in de Basement!

If Perchance is sheer Happenstance,
Then, is Happenchance only a Stance?
If Japanese are really Nipponese,
Which did really Seize the Seas?

If Korksakoff’s Syndrome causes Confabulation,
And Senile Dementia is Contentious,
Then, Ipso Facto, Alzheimer’s is an irreversible version
Of Sometimer’s - a Somewhat Silly Intervention.

When a Somersault is done in a Sombrero,
Can it truly mess up your Hair-o?
And if Mono is the opposite of Stereo,
Is an In-between sound a Mezzo?

Moderate, or in the middle is Mezzo,
So - moderately Loud is Mezzo Forte,
And moderately Soft is Mezzo Piano - So -
A voice ‘tween Soprano and Contralto is Mezzo Soprano!

Between High Relief and Bas Relief is Mezzo Relievo,
A Process of engraving copper is Mezzotint,
Consult your Funk & Wagnall’s - take a Hint,
If therefore, you don’t Believo!

A Greek assortment of Snacks is called Meze,
And a Mediterranean felt hat is a Fez.
A Jewish doorpost Scroll is a Mezuzah,
And an Old, Old, Old man was Methuselah! *

A Mixture of different things is a Combination,
An Arrangement of items by Reordering them is a Permutation.
A Fiction, or Fable, or Confusion told - is a Confabulation.
There you have it - my Station of Elation to the Nation!


Do I hear any Ovation?

© - TKH


* 969 Years! (Gen 5:21-27).

* Wine or Champagne Bottle that holds 8 Times More!
6 Liters - or 208 Fluid Oz.



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Reviewed by Michelle Mead 11/23/2008
This, my friend, is hysterically funny and BRILLIANT work.
Reviewed by Sara Coslett 11/21/2008
Bravo! This was smart, classy and down right--funny! Great poem, Tom. ~ Sara
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 11/21/2008
I enjoy your work
Reviewed by Flying Fox Ted L Glines 11/21/2008
Yes you do, Tom. Bravo!!!

English is great as a mercantile language (wonderful for law and contracts) but we can have gangs of frivolity with its attempts at "COMBINATIONS, PERMUTATIONS, CONFABULATIONS" -- and especially any attempt it makes at expressing stressed emotional outbursts (*BEEP*).

You rock :-)

Ted
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 11/21/2008
Bravo! Bravo! And although I was intrigued by this entire masterpiece, your words in the beginning may stay with me all day:

What if - instead of The Rapture,
Devotees were waiting for The Rupture?

Yikes! Having had a Double Hernia, that ain't gonna be no picnic for any of us!

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 11/21/2008
Tom,

Undone by the time and effort you took to pen these thought provoking lines ... you never fail to educate while entertaining. Well done!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Books by
Tom Hyland



Bawlmer, Merlyn - Home of The Hons

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