Tom Hyland, click here
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How OLD are you?
You are only as old as you FEEL!
But, what if you have a Teenager TRAPPED inside a 68-year-old BOD with Aches N' Pains that feel like you are 86?
THIS - my Friends N' Fiends - is where HUMOR helps a lot!
To BE - or Not to BE -
THAT - is the Question!
and the Answer is ...
opening Envelope ...
DRUM ROLL ...
"THANK YOU, LORD, FOR ONE MORE BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL DAY !!!
© - Tom Hyland - 01-06-09
Age - Minus Nine Months = Only a Gleam in Daddyís Eye!
Age - Plus Six Months = SOON!
Age - Zero = E.R. Ward - Daylight at End of Tunnel!
Age - One MINUTE = WAAAAAAH! Itís A BOY! Itís A GIRL!
Cigars All Around!
Age - One Year = First Happy Birthday!
Age Seven Years = the Supposed Age of Reason =
Knowing Right from Wrong? But - Do They?
First Confession and First Holy Communion.
Age Twelve = ALMOST TEENAGER - YAY!
Age Thirteen Years = Confirmation or Bar/Bas Mitzvah.
Age Sixteen = SWEET SIXTEEN = First Kiss?
First PREGNANCY? No Contract Abilities!
Age Eighteen = Old Enough to Go to WAR and DIE!
BUT - NOT TO VOTE - in Some States!
Age Twenty-One = ADULT! = Responsibility! =
Legal DRINKING Age! = Set ĎEm Up, Joe!
Age Twenty-Five = Almost Middle-Aged - AND -
Hopefully - a College Graduate - BUT BROKE!
Age Thirty = CONGRATULATIONS! = MIDDLE-AGED!
Age FORTY = Over The HUMP! =
ALL DOWN-HILL NOW! WORK YOUR BUNS OFF!
Age Fifty = Welcome to AARP!
Start Thinking About RETIREMENT PLANNING!
Age Sixty-Five = USED TO RETIRE AT FULL SSA BENEFITS!
Now - ADD 6-9-12 Months or Get PENALIZED!
AGE SIXTY-EIGHT = ME! = OLD - BROKE - RETIRED -
BUT - Still Must WORK Part-Time or STARVE!
Age Seventy = Usually = WELCOME TO NURSING HOME!
Age Seventy-Five = Still Alive, but No More JIVE!
Age Eighty = DUH? WHO AM I?
Age Ninety = WHO ARE YOU?
Age Ninety-Five = EVEN KIDS ARE DEAD NOW!
AGE ONE HUNDRED = FULL CIRCLE! =
BUT WHO CARES, OR GIVES A RATíS RECTUM?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HELL - ITíS JUST A NUMBER - RIGHT?
© - TKH
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|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|HELL - ITíS JUST A NUMBER - RIGHT?
I think I'm just gonna quit counting, and keep living!
|Reviewed by m j hollingshead
|Reviewed by Flying Fox Ted L Glines
Yup, and would you believe, some 68-year-old guy in Gaza City is waking up in a bomb crater saying "THANK YOU, LORD, FOR ONE MORE BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL DAY !!!"
Wendy will love this one, too, since you included "Bar/Bas Mitzvah".
Government actuarial tables say that folks born in 1940 were supposed to live to be 62. So I guess we died in 2002; dang, we missed our own funeral :-)
|Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
|So cool and love the humor too! Ah, what is AGE but a chronological number set down by who????
Be always safe,
|Reviewed by Marcia Miller-Twiford
|If you stop and really think about it we're all still 12. Great write!|
|Reviewed by Connie Faust
|Enjoyed your comical look at age and aging. I know what you mean about the trapped teenager--I'm the same (teen) age as you, and well acquainted with the aches and pains!
Don't despair, God has plans and a purpose for you and me. I want to be on duty, ready for His directions all the time. Even in old age, said the Psalmist, He is with me. SURE!
|Reviewed by Lois Christensen
|Good top part. Did not spend much time on bottom one. Was too confounded by the top part. Yes, we are lucky to be here each day and I am fortunate too that I woke up alive again and don't I know it. Your writes are good though throughout the year.|
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
|Happy Birthday, Tom. I'm 49. :D Body's convinced it's 112. LOL Enjoy your day, and I loved what you said at the beginning of your write:
"Thank you, Lord, for one more beautiful, wonderful day!" AMEN!!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
|Reviewed by Ed Matlack
|Who are you again & I am only 54, but then again I am not shore, you're only as old as you look, and brother when i saw you last summer, well, I can't go on or I might lose what few teefies I got left...;-) Ed|