I LIED AGAIN!

THIS AIN'T A POEM!

LIVE WITH IT!

How Do ‘They’ Screw Us?

© - Tom Hyland

Let me Count the Lays!

1. Last July, I posted the story of how my Friend Pat
Got Screwed by Bob Bell Nissan -
$374.00 to Replace a Dead Battery! Why?
‘They’ never bothered to respond to my Complaint.

2. Prior to that, last December, it Cost me over $300.00
To replace a left-front wheel bearing. Why?
Because ‘They’ said so!

3. Just this past Monday, it cost me $191.00
To replace a Battery. Why?
My mechanic shared the truth with me.
‘They’ - is some National Pricing System.

4. Each and every job on a car has a ‘Fixed’
Minimum Price Cost, supposedly based on Time -
If this computer database says to Charge X Dollars -
That’s What ‘They’ Charge! Regardless of Time!

5. The Battery Cost I paid was $98.00 -
Naturally, a lot higher than what the Supplier charged him -
So, the mechanic ‘reaps’ a little ‘hidden’ profit -
On Every Part put in your car!

6. Then, another little ‘Twist’ is Line-itemed as ‘Shop Supplies’
Mine was $14.00 and change - for What?
He took three minutes at most -
To squirt some fan-belt dressing to stop a noise!

7. So - just for the sake of argument, say Taxes were $5 or so -
This means that the National ‘They’ Program -
Told him to Charge me $70 Bucks! Why?
‘CAUSE - IT IS ‘THEIR’ BIBLE!

8. You may ask - “Is that a Rate per hour of Labor?”
Not Hardly! It took him all of Fifteen Minutes
To Swap out the Batteries!
It is a Flat Charge per Job - regardless of Time.

9. As my mechanic then explained to me -
“I’m in Business to Make Money - If I don’t - I won’t be in Business!”
“Sometimes, jobs take longer, and I have to ‘eat’ the loss,
So, this provides a ‘cushion’ to cover that.”

10. While I may now better understand the pricing process -
MY HINEY STILL HURTS!
Getting ‘Screwed’ - especially without a ‘Kiss’ first -
Somehow still seems Inhumane!

For anyone out there who happens to own a PT Cruiser -
Mine is a 2004 Model - Here’s the ‘Real Poop’
To Remove, then Install a New Battery -

1. Unsnap two Clamps holding Air Filter.
2. Unscrew Clamp attaching Flex-hose to Carburetor.
3. Use appropriate Wrench to Disconnect Positive Terminal.
4. Same thing for Negative Terminal.
5. Remove the Black Plastic Rectangular Box which holds the filter,
Depress two tabs, and move up and away from Fender.
6. Use Socket Wrench to remove battery Retainer Bracket.
7. Lift out old battery - Replace with New.
8. Re-install all above, in reverse order.

Now that I Know How to Do It -
I won’t get ‘SCREWED’ again -
At least for a lousy Battery!

In fact, my Suggestion would be to do the following -
Get a ‘Hot-Shot’ - Drive directly to a Supplier -
Some places, like Advance Auto Parts Might -
Not only be Cheaper, but May Install it for you?

“Happy Motoring” - and - “Screwing” Too!

© - TKH