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Tom Hyland

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  CAVEAT EMPTOR!
by Tom Hyland
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Tom Hyland
•  SHRIMPY
•  OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...
•  ALL HALLOWS EVE
•  HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
•  CONTEMPLATING BAMBI’S NAVEL
           >> View all 514




This happened in Baltimore, Maryland - BUT ...

I'll bet the Practice is Universal!

"Watch It Out There!"






CAVEAT EMPTOR!

© - Tom Hyland - 9/9/10

Happened this past Wednesday - True Story -
My Niece, who happens to be Disabled -
Accidentally locked her keys inside her car - the night Before.
Her Landlady let her in her apartment - no Worry.

Early next morning, she called several Locksmiths -
As she needed her Car-keys to get to Work.
First place told her Cost of Call was Twenty Bucks -
Plus additional Unknown Charge - that Sucks!

T’would depend on Time and Labor -
So she called another Place -
This Quote was Sixty Bucks Plus ...
First one called back - was on his Way!

Guy from “LOCKSMITH ALL AROUND TOWN” in Catonsville -
Shows up - sets down his tools and States:
“We Must First Settle Price - I need $150 Dollars -Up Front!
Niece replies “I can’t afford such Rates!’

“Was quoted $20 dollars - how come so High?”
“Am on Fixed Disability Income” - Says She -
“I can Drop to One-Twenty-Five” - Says He -
“Forget it! I’ll call the Other Place!’

“Okay Lady - my Lowest Offer - I’ll drop 50 Bucks!”
She was Stuck T’ween a Rock and a Hard Place -
The cost exceeded what she would earn that Day -
But - reluctantly, she said - OKAY!

After Visa Number - He got out a Tool went Right to Work -
Took Exactly One and One-Half Minutes - That Dirty Jerk!
As he left - she got her Key-Ring from between the Seats -
That’s How This Company - People CHEATS!

Caveat Emptor - Buyer Beware!
Avoid This Company - They Do NOT Care!
Obviously No Principles - Totally Unfair -
Heed This Warning! Be Aware!

He was a Rat-Bastard - a .#%^* S-O-B -
If I knew his Name - would give it - for Free!
If you Live in Catonsville, in Baltimore - and Lock yourself Out -
Choose a Locksmith Wisely - or you Will Pout!

Be Firm! Get a Solid Quote -
If Not - Such Robbers will Surely Gloat!
A Word to the Wise Should be Sufficient -
“Crooks R Us’ - Should be Their Definition!


© - TKH.




 



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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 9/12/2010
Thanks for the "heads up," Tom. It is indeed a sad state of affairs. Love and peace,

Regis
Reviewed by Duke LaRance 9/11/2010
Verbim sapiente sat!

duke larance -- the drugstore cowboy poet
Reviewed by Richard King 9/10/2010
I almost wish I lived there just so I could boycott them with you. NOT!!!! I'm perfectly happy here in Florida, but crooks are crooks everywhere. Your niece shoud have a bumper sticker put on her car saying: BEWARE! I WAS CHEATED BY LOCKSMITH ALL AROUND TOWN.
Reviewed by J'nia Fowler 9/10/2010
Nasty! Reminds me of a Swedish movie we just watched called The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. She managed to subdue her attacker and tattooed a message across his chest and stomach. I am a -----rat, bastard rapist. Too bad these guys can get away with cheating people out of money they don't have.
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 9/10/2010
Sad that we live in a world such as this and in times such as these. Knowing my business, as I'm able to, I always give an exact quote over the phone and have even walked away from jobs without charging if, once there, finding that the work was not needed. Not all out there are as the Rat-Bastard - #%^* S-O-B from “LOCKSMITH ALL AROUND TOWN”
Mark

Books by
Tom Hyland



Bawlmer, Merlyn - Home of The Hons

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