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Tom Hyland

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· ELF # 1

· SHRIMPY

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· HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW

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Books by Tom Hyland
  Bob and Ed
by Tom Hyland
Sunday, June 22, 2003
Rated "R" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Tom Hyland
•  ELF # 1
•  SHRIMPY
•  OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...
•  ALL HALLOWS EVE
•  HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
           >> View all 515


Don't let the category selection fool you! It's really an adult theme!

Was going to choose Humor, then thought about Horror? What to do? What to do?
Romance certainly wouldn't work, lest it was the death of one? Anyhoo, my devious mind thought that a lil game should be played. So, read on, MacDuff!


BOB and ED

Copyright: 4/07/02

Tom Hyland


 

"Parting is such sweet sorrow. . ."
Oh, how these words ring so true !
For she is leaving me on the morrow,
and it makes me feel so blue.
I got the Chest of Drawers, she got the bed,
She got BOB and I got ED!

She chose the Toro key-start mower,
and, I, of course, the electric snow-blower.
She picked the dining table, along with chairs,
the heart-shaped table I made, and all the Teddy Bears.
"I’m not doing this to hurt you she said."
So, she got BOB and I got ED!

Living room sofa, with matching ottoman and chair,
coffee and end tables, all to her, certainly fair.
"Cause I got the color console TV, VCR, and remote,
and all the picture albums, so I could weep, then gloat.
What we once had in the past, surely now is dead,
But she got BOB and I got ED!

Thirty-four years of assets, divvied up so neat,
No muss, no fuss, there is no US, ‘tis bitter-sweet.
The home was sold, we paid all the bills.
Nothing more to do, ‘ceptin’ to change our Wills.
All these memories lurking deep inside my head,
Alas! She got BOB and I got ED!

Just who are these fellas now? No need to pretend!
‘Cause my profile’s now posted on Cupid’s Junction,
BOB is her Battery Operated Boyfriend -
n’ ED is Erectile Dysfunction !!!

O-U-C-H !

"Any Viagra in the house?"


 




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Reviewed by Lori Moore
Lol.... And I feel sorry for the teddy bears.
Reviewed by The Smoking Poet
Ah! Laughter is the best medicine, is it not? I read to the end, then guffawed...
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Hey my name is Ed and are you peeking through my bedroom window at night? Sorry it too so long to get around to this, but I am glad I did...Peace, Ed & Rufuz
Reviewed by Cynthia Borris
Tom,

Have to admit, this BOB is not on my BOB-list!

Cynthia

Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader)
Omg...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...am laughing so hafrd I can not type...this is a great one indeed!!!!
~Nikki~
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
*choking with laughter*

(((TOM)))

you bad boy...OMG, this is HYSTERICAL...LOLOLOLOLOLOL *you outta see the strange looks i'm gettin here at the library*

this, my friend, is a keeper...you're quickly becoming one of my favorites, with writes like this

your sense of humor and delivery are impeccable (spelling??)

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

(((HUGS))) and thanks for my laughs for the YEAR

love,

karla. :) *HUGE grins*
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