BOB and ED
"Parting is such sweet sorrow. . ."
Oh, how these words ring so true !
For she is leaving me on the morrow,
and it makes me feel so blue.
I got the Chest of Drawers, she got the bed,
She got BOB and I got ED!
She chose the Toro key-start mower,
and, I, of course, the electric snow-blower.
She picked the dining table, along with chairs,
the heart-shaped table I made, and all the Teddy Bears.
"I’m not doing this to hurt you she said."
So, she got BOB and I got ED!
Living room sofa, with matching ottoman and chair,
coffee and end tables, all to her, certainly fair.
"Cause I got the color console TV, VCR, and remote,
and all the picture albums, so I could weep, then gloat.
What we once had in the past, surely now is dead,
But she got BOB and I got ED!
Thirty-four years of assets, divvied up so neat,
No muss, no fuss, there is no US, ‘tis bitter-sweet.
The home was sold, we paid all the bills.
Nothing more to do, ‘ceptin’ to change our Wills.
All these memories lurking deep inside my head,
Alas! She got BOB and I got ED!
Just who are these fellas now? No need to pretend!
‘Cause my profile’s now posted on Cupid’s Junction,
BOB is her Battery Operated Boyfriend -
n’ ED is Erectile Dysfunction !!!
"Any Viagra in the house?"