by Chanti Niven
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Rated "G" by the Author.
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The dragon remained
silent beneath the heavy drapes
she'd pulled around herself.
to shield her nakedness
An impotent creature
wounded by words,
scarred and steaming
unable to breathe fire
without fuel to feed upon
His eyes were open
when the dividing sword was thrust
deep into his heaving breast
In his dying he became enflamed again
Spewing sparks into the darkness,
to ignite a forest of fear
and start a raging conflagration
that would continue to burn
long after he burnt out.
Every beaten moment
spewed from his nostrils
Rejection, anger, hate,
Incinerated with all that lay in its path
As molten lava, like vomit
laid the rest to waste
Finally, there was nothing left
but embers that twirled softly
in the cool moonlight
The fire went out as she awoke
She sniffed the air and whispered
'I smell smoke'
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|Reviewed by ~ H (Reader)
|Written as only you can write Chanti, love Holly|
|Reviewed by john salmon
|The memory of an event came to mind, can't hide from it. It knows my history, laidbare, i can only throw contours of time and space around me as seperation. A haunting from the past- until i share, it can never live in my world now. Great writing and best regards.|
|Reviewed by Barbara Terry
|Like Jon said these metaphors can have many possibilities. A house fire, because when she woke up she said she smelled smoke. For me these metaphors are like I was 12 years old my mother thrust the sword of fear into my heaving breast and tried to destroy me, only to have me wake up years later and fight off what she did through my poems and stories.
This is written very well and with emotion and deep feelings. Thank you for sharing.
May the Lord Jesus bless you, and those whom you love and who love you, and be with you always, and at your side constantly. With much love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister, Barbie
|Reviewed by Jon Willey
|a metaphor of many possibilities Chanti -- the dragon is resurrected with her awakening -- his fire, now magic again in the embrace of their nocturnal love making -- this is the most romatic impression you left me with -- and thus, the one I choose to believe you intended -- the change in gender still leaves me wondering though -- very nice work Chanti -- peace and love my friend -- Jon Michael|
|Reviewed by Edwin Larson
|Considering the circumstance that inspired this, I am amazed by by the delicacy and beauty you've crafted in this expressive write. My take would have been caustic to say the least...;)
Great write my Snuggles!!!
|Reviewed by Diana Wiles
|I found this piece extremely moving...the imagery strong yet emotionally evocative...Simply beautiful in its entirety..
|Reviewed by Edwin Hurdle
|A compelling and strong written piece.Great work,take care
|Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
|Raw emotion, strong sentiments come through in this piece. A vision of strength after a long ordeal. Stay well sweet lady....
Be always safe,
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|I find this write powerfully metaphorical and symbolic in meaning expressed, Chanti. Thank you for sharing this gift. Love and best wishes,
|Reviewed by Jeff Mason
|Perfection, as always. Stark imager with beautiful and full meaning between each and every line. Blessings. -- Jeff|
|Reviewed by Gene Williamson
|The dragon, imagined or real (an impotent lover perhaps),
effectively discarded in her dream, even the memory goes
up in smoke. Even if I'm off by 180 degrees, Chanti, I
love the sound and shape and scent of your words. -gene.
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|I loved the dreamscape you painted in this and how the dragon in death is not described as evil but as a dignified and misunderstood creature. Also the ending was perfect in keeping with the dreamlike mood of the write. Bravo Chanti and glad to see you posting again.
|Reviewed by Michelle Mills
|OMG, I know where THIS poem came from...one of your most powerful pieces yet Chants. Devoured every line...Love and hugs, Michelle|
|Reviewed by Ed J.
|WOW! very strong prose. The bitterness, anger and hurtful words that should never be spoken in demise of a relationship come through clearly and vividly in this write.
Stay well and keep writing