Elijah
You’re so serious and dark and beautiful.
The moment I saw you, I knew.
I knew it would be this way,
that I would love you and long for you.
I knew that loving you would be lonely.
That you could not be reached
by something as frivolous as emotion
while there were puzzles to solve.
I saw you sitting there, by the window,
lost in your thoughts,
oblivious to everyone, the way I feel inside.
With you, there is no pretense.
Your head is always bent in thought,
hand to your chin, pencil scribbling
Are you finding an unknown formula
to life?
I wonder when you learned to ignore the world.
Were you ever a child?
Did you lie in your mother’s arms,
a brooding infant?
There must have been a moment
when you were wounded beyond repair,
a moment when you chose to forego
anything less than fact.
Your smile is such a rare thing,
a thing made more beautiful
by its rarity, by it’s sincerity.
I think it surprises even you.
I watch your dark eyes assess
everyone and everything
briefly in a glance, and then
all is dismissed and forgotten.
I don’t think you know
that you are serious, a mystery
hidden away,
perhaps even from yourself.
And yet, beyond the constant working
of your thoughts,
beyond the puzzling and studying
of the worlds great mysteries- there must be a man.
I saw a flicker once, an unguarded moment,
a flicker of some tiny flame.
It was extinguished in an instant,
probably before you even felt it.
What would bring the man in you to his knees?
What would sweep the darkness
from your complicated mind?
Surely nothing as simple as love or desire.
I knew it would be like this.
I knew you would somehow
draw me into your puzzling.
Oh, Elijah. I knew I would love you.
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