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Mr. Ed

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Member Since: Apr, 2003

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Books
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· Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

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· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals


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· The Dog On The Tracks


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· I Am a Dog, Not a Thing

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· Keep Your Pets Safe This Halloween

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Poetry
· Their Abysmal Fourth of July

· Rainy Day Walkabout

· My Buddy

· It's Pet Appreciation Week

· Another Lesson From A Dog

· Just Nature

· It's Poppy Time Once More

· Please Don't Worry So Much, H.P.

· Meatloaf Matlack

· A Walk With Dogs

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· Recipient of the 2006 Merial Human-Animal Bond Award

· International Writing Award

· My Animal Book Wins an Award

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Books by Mr. Ed
  Birthday Love
by Mr. Ed
Monday, October 18, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Their Abysmal Fourth of July
•  Rainy Day Walkabout
•  My Buddy
•  It's Pet Appreciation Week
•  Another Lesson From A Dog
           >> View all 1,522





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Growing old is mandatory;

Growing up is optional.”

                        

                            ~Chili Davis

 

 

Today is my lovely spouse’s birthday,

She hates being teased about her age;

But like a blooming old idiot,

I always do it anyway.

 

I have constantly reminded her,

That age exists only in our minds,

But I had to hide our frying pan,

I truly would not like being fried.

 

To make matters even worse,

I just remembered her birthday two days ago,

I knew I had to come up with something,

That would proclaim my love most bold.

 

I soon rushed out to get her some fragrant flowers,

But all the gems in my neighbor’s yard had died,

So I quickly raced over to the local candy store,

But the sale had already ended; gosh darn it, I tried.

 

Then I excitedly thought about

Getting her some camping gear or beer,

When I very sadly realized

That’s what I had gotten her last year.

 

So, I raced over to a woman’s clothing store,

To excitedly purchase a blouse, skirt, or dress,

When I suddenly realized I didn’t know her size,

And God forbid I should make the wrong guess.

 

Next, I rushed over to the animal shelter,

Thought that I would get her a pet,

When I very sadly realized

She hasn’t gotten over the last seven yet.



 


So, I eventually decided

To enroll her in AARP,

But when I thought it over,

I realized membership wasn’t free.

 

Then at dawn’s early light, it finally hit me,

That’s when I jumped up and said, “Aah!”

I quickly rummaged through a chest in our attic,

And came up with an elegant old Babushka.

 

I truly hope my dear wife likes it,

I suppose it’s in fashion with women her age,

So I guess I’m not so dumb after all,

I kind of think this gift is sage.

 

I’ve already written out her birthday card,

I’ve penned these sentiments from my heart,

And I find this to be extremely touching,

From her extremely romantic old fart.

 

“My dearest dearest Darling,

I present this Babushka to you,

I loved my granny who wore it,

And Sweetie, I truly love you, too!”

 

Happy Birthday, Honey!

 

 

Wow! Writing this romantic poem was lots of fun,

I wonder if I could compete with Handsum Hart?

Maybe I will change my name to:

The Romantic Old Fart.

 

(On second thought, I am dead meat.)

 

(I sure hope she doesn’t read this poem.)

 

(And I better take her to McDonalds for dinner.)

 

Bye…

 
 

 


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Reviewed by Rose L
You never cease to amaze me with your wit and humor!! I cannot believe how much I missed everyone here!

Any wife would find this amusing I should think, though hiding the frying pans - good move my friend! LOL Just a thought, hide the sharp instuments too. :)

Just goes to prove that love comes in many forms....and humor is one of my personal favorites!

Happy Birthday to your lovely bride from a fellow Libran (I turned 43 on October 16.) :)

Peace,

~Rose~

Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader)
I can't stop peeing I'm laughing so hard.
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Kool 4 kats, just got this REM cd, they just get better, listening I feel they are on the side of real people...


SO FUNNY, HAVE FUN FUN FUN, YOU MAY GET DEADED...
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
LOL are you ever dead! :-) but I am sure after she hits you a few times she will smile and hug you knowing and loving you for who you are :-) Thanks for such a fun sharing.
Reviewed by Peter Paton
Wonderful and amusing Ed

Peter
Reviewed by E T Waldron
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!I haven't laughed this hard since I started laughing;-)
You are without a doubt the king of fundom...If I were Rebecca, I'd put you in a cage with the animals and forget you all for a week!On second thought I'm sure you'd be right at home!;-)lol

Happy Birthday Rebecca, and many more to come...(make him pay!;-)
Reviewed by Nordette Adams
ROFL! This is wonderful. Tell her "Happy Birthday!" from the Mad Woman of Route 22/Jersey. I know of a little town where you can hide in Quebec, Canada. LOL. Hurry before it snows.
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
I do hope the dogs don't mind you sharing their doghouse for a few days, if they do however, Rufuz says he will share his couch with you...and as the perfect angel I am, I have no idea how you could forget your beautiful, forgiving, compassionate wife's birthday...the woman is a gem to put up with you as it is...HEY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REBECCA! Hope you both find peace, or she gets a piece of you, Ed & rufuz
Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope)
This so sweet Ed Kostro. In my country one should always avoid two things: To tell or ask a women about her age and a man about his salary. Wonderful write.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
No matter how small the gift it is the thought that counts....right RebBbBbBbecca??


Now Little Eddie you have to tell this Dumb South Africa what the heck a "Babushka " is...top or bottom...middle or uppernose???

I thought you said Bazuka????

Now that could be very dangerous!!

HAPPY YOUTHDAY REBECCA

gOOD LUCK "LITTERoNE" HEHEHEHEHEHE!!

Love Tinky

Reviewed by Sandie Angel
Methink you are in much trouble for not getting her gift in advance. Heeeheee!

Hhhhhhmmmm....okay. Here's the story my mom tells me all the time...

When she asked my dad what he was going to get her for her birthday, my dad always said, "Me!" (meaning himself).

...but I think eventually he would go and buy her the gift and take her out to dinner.

Sandie May Angel :o)
Reviewed by Kate Burnside
By the time you read this your head will have been drilled with the contents of the DIY-kit you bought your lovely spouse last Christmas! This is almost the equivalent of what my brother said about my ageing mother at his daughter's wedding: "So pleased Mother could be with us today... and she being all of 111!! Oh no, sorry ladies and gentlemen... she's not 111, she just looks it because she's ill!!" RIP, Ed Kostro... we'll miss you!! Jus kiddin!! Happy Birthday, Rebecca, and I do hope your husband lives to survive his next one! How can she resist you, Ed? You're such a romantic! LOLOLOL Kate xx
Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers
You are in sooooooooo much trouble! I'm sending her a new frying pan! You know? The good strong heavy metal kind? The kind that will make you remember well in advance next year!!!! Cause the bump is still going to be on your head!!!
If I were you I'd start running and hiding now!

Lisa
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