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In Sad Response to AD Member A Pax’s Wicked Poem,

PARADISO OREO – Cookies Gotz No Brains – Part 3

“Beware of the Wicked Queen A Pax, My Innocent Little Boy,

Her Followers Will Trick You, With Their Scrumptious Decoys.”

My Grandfather

If you ever wander into the woods late at night

You must try to remember this frightening story

Because if you ever forget this very terrifying tale

I know that just like me - you’ll soon be very sorry

Deep deep in the dark magical forest realm

Waits an evil family of Queen A Pax’s trolls

They’re an extremely wicked bunch of creatures

It’s said that they are thousands of years old

They live in a spooky dark wooden house

Right next to a very tall gnarled old pine tree

And they delight in tricking all the night travelers

Offering them scrumptious cookies – absolutely free

They will soon invite you in

To warm yourself by their fire

Then they’ll serve you ice-cold milk

And all the yummy cookies you desire

And their cookies are so good

You’ll want to eat more and more

But you’ll soon regret eating them

As they finally show you to the door

You must listen to me very very closely now

If you ever pass this house in the dark forest

Don’t be tricked by A Pax and her tricky trolls

Or you’ll soon be filled with a terrifying remorse

Anyone who eats their tainted magic cookies

Is turned into a wretched old ogre with no hair

And these trolls will then laugh and send you out

For all the other innocent night travelers to scare

And ever since that very wretched night so long ago

When I stumbled upon wicked Queen A Pax and her trolls

I have been forced to live the life of an insatiable Cookie Ogre

Whose lust for tiny Cookie People spins completely out of control

You see, I am now a toothless demon horrid

With a very grotesque huge belly lined in brass

And I wash my cookies down with beer and milk

And my God I can’t stand my noxious farts and gas

My ogre’s head is filled with pimples

Oh God it’s such a slimy pulpish waste

And now I have two very pointed horns

Above my very blotched and hideous face

And from my fat putridly rotting buttocks

My horrendous crack spews a very long tail

With a very sharp edged point at the very end

That I use to spear tiny Cookie People as they wail

So if you are ever wandering in the deep dark eerie forest

And you happen to run into a frightening old ogre in despair

Just remember that he too was once a very naïve and innocent child

Who ate the cookies - from A Pax - and her tricky trolls - out there

Now You Know How Evil She Really Is,

And Why She always Wickedly Yells Out,

“Muuhaahaa!”

And Now You Finally Know

Why I So Desperately Cry Out,

“Got Any Milk, Amigo or Amiga?”

Alas why didn’t I listen to my sage old grandfather

Oh how I wish that I could somehow relive the awful past

But since I cannot I fear that this bloody war must continue

‘Death to All Cookie People and Down With the Diabolical A Pax’

SPEAR, CHOMP, SLURP, BUUURP…

“Look, Ma – No Hands!”

(And No Pants…)

©2006, Extremely Innocent Ogre Ed