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Mr. Ed

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· My Dog Is My Hero

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

· Cemetery Island

· Gold River Canyon

· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

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· The Dog At The Drive-Thru Window

· Home For The Holidays

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· Pigs, Turtles, and Bugs!

· Gentle Cemetery Dog Finally Safe

· Freezing, Starving, and Scared

· A Home For The Holidays

· Very Sadly, Not Much Has Changed In The Last Ten Years

· June is 'Adopt A Cat Month'

· I Am a Dog, Not a Thing

· Ghost Dog Rescued From Hot Dog Stand

· February is 'National Spay/Neuter Awareness' Month

· The 2014 Home 4 The Holidays Campaign

· Saving Our Canine Vets, This Veterans Day

· November is 'Adopt-A-Senior-Pet' Month

· National Pit Bull Awareness Day

· Keep Your Pets Safe This Halloween

· Three Tiny Terrified Souls

· Their Abysmal Fourth of July

· Rainy Day Walkabout

· My Buddy

· It's Pet Appreciation Week

· Another Lesson From A Dog

· Just Nature

· It's Poppy Time Once More

· Please Don't Worry So Much, H.P.

· Meatloaf Matlack

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· The Daily Mews

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Another Review For Curious Creatures-Wondrous Waifs

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· International Writing Award

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Books by Mr. Ed
  The Cookieville Queen's True Destiny
by Mr. Ed
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.

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•  Three Tiny Terrified Souls
•  Their Abysmal Fourth of July
•  Rainy Day Walkabout
•  My Buddy
•  It's Pet Appreciation Week
           >> View all 1,523



God Save The Queen,

And Our Kingdom


Please Join All of Us in Cookieville

In Wishing the Queen a Speedy Recovery

From Her Heartbreaking Isle of the Lost

Tainted Cookie Sprinkle Hallucinations

Which Have Now So Very Sadly Caused

Her Imagined ‘Cookie Kid Birth Revelry’


(She’s On Her ‘Alien Mind Voyage’ Trip Again

Which I Believe Was Also the Theme in Episode Five

Of the Popular Cookieville Soap Opera ‘Alien Love’)

(Alas, the ‘Good’ Queen is addicted to that as well)


And I Only Post This Response

In My Very Compassionate Attempt

To Help the ‘Good’ Queen Once More

Somehow Return to This Earthly Realm

And Hopefully To Help Her Now Face

Her One True Cookieville ‘Ever More’


Truly many mortal souls on this earth

Like to fantasize about alternate lives

But eventually we must all face reality

Or it will cause far too much earthly strife


A tiny kitten often dreams that he’s the most fearsome lion

A young fox may dream that she is the very ferocious hound

But when each and every soul wakes each and every morning

We must all accept who we are if any happiness is to be found


A tormented half human-half cookie ogre Queen

May dream about having Space Alien Cookie Babies

But when she finally accepts what fate has brought to her

Only then will she ever be happy – no ifs, ands, or maybes


For in reality, the likelihood of this tormented Queen,

The only living heir of a very sage old Cookie Ogre King,

Having anything other than Cookie Craving Ogre Children,

Is about as likely as Santa bringing Christmas presents in Spring


 So Hold Up, And Hold On, Queen A Pax,

Don’t Be So Terrified; You Can Move On.


You Will Never Ever Be Able to Ever Really Change,

What Your Cookieville Queen’s Destiny To You Shall Bring;

So, I Beseech You, Begin Living the Ogre’s Life Given To You,

Eat a Delectable Cookie or Two – And Sing, Queen A Pax, Sing!



And just think about all the problems you’d have,

If you really could have Cookie Kids, My Queen:


Think About All Those Very Moldy Oldy Diapers

When Those Cookie Kids Would Get a Teensy Bit Older


Think About Each One of Their Truly Exasperating

‘Always Seem to Come Too Fast’ Cookie Expiration Dates

As You Now Worry and Fret Hovering Over Their Shoulders


They Would All Become Extremely Bitter

With a Very Stale Moldy Taste for Life

And They Would All Most Very Very Likely

Just Lie Around the Castle All Bloody Day and Night


And, Alas, They Would Crustily Cling

To Your Queen’s Kitchen Apron Strings,

For The Rest of Your Miserable Days


And, Do You Want to Continue Contemplating an Alien Life,

In Which You Could Never See Your Dear Old Father Again?


Do You?


Please Ponder That Question Very Carefully


If He Happened to Unexpectedly Arrive for Dinner,

It Would Be a Most Hellish Nightmare, Most Assuredly


“Quickly, Hide All the Dear Little Cookie Childen,

It’s Grandpa Ogre, and He Looks Absolutely Famished!”




And where would you hide them,

So he couldn’t quickly sniff them out?


In the freezer, perhaps?


I Shudder to Think About That


Cookie Freezer Burn

Is Extremely Serious Business

It Ruins Most Cookies In A Flash


Come On, Queenie, Come On,

Snap Out of It, For Heaven’s Sake,

And For the Sake of Our Beloved Cookieville


You Need to Accept Life’s Gifts, and Not Be So Atrociously Blue,

You Need to Set Aside Those Very Hallucinogenic Cookie Sprinkles,

Finally Accept Your Ogre’s Fate – And Munch a Little Cookie or Two



©2006, An Extremely Concerned Ogre Ed



Well Then,

I Guess I’ll Be Off,

I’ve Just Got To Munch a Little Cookie or Two Myself


God Save the Queen

And Our Kingdom



And I Now Suspect,

That Ms. Mighty Read,

That Very Crafty Tabloid Reporter,

Used ‘Doctored’ Photos of Jennifer Lopez,

On the Queen’s Latest Very ‘Far Out’

Alien Cookie Child Tabloid News Spread


That Surely Did Not Look Like

The Real Cookieville Queen To Me

Who is Depicted Here With an Ogre Child

In an Extremely Loving Future Castle Scene


Tabloids – Bah, Humbug, I’d Say





15's a Dream Team, by 'Good' Queen A Pax

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Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher
Very much enjoyed it! Cookie-Freezer-Burn indeed sounds terrible;)
Reviewed by Helen Downey
Are you going to publish a book of this series? This is a very funny and worthwhile read. Keep them coming.

Reviewed by m j hollingshead
good one
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
"Cookie Freezer Burn
Is Extremely Serious Business
It Ruins Most Cookies In A Flash"

Yippo no doubt about thatnnnn they stay for ever!!

I guess thats when the cookie crumbles right??

Love Tinky
Reviewed by A PAX
ha ha ha
you think I am delusional
How dare you negate my motherhood and children
So they are Kookiemons.......
They are the new species to inhabit the earth
the aliens told me so
and they are good,

just wait see.............

and Jennifer I am flattered........but you are not off the hookie cookie

Lets see who crumbles!!!

Reviewed by Aberjhani
Enjoying this highly imaginative series with its powerful blend of looney tune imagery and insightful social satire. Fantastic work.
Reviewed by Chrissy McVay
So funny. Pass the milk (as you know, your sister starts drinking before noon these days) Moldy baby cookie diapers truly are the worst! They get stale early...
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
More cookies please....*grins* Delicious flight o' fancy here; very well done!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
So where did the mighty ogre get its psychology degree, over the phone...? Don't listen to its hogwash dear queen, it is just trying to draw you into something, so it can take advantage of you...oh and tabloids are the only way to find real aliens...Ed & Rufuz
Reviewed by E T Waldron
Though your tale is well told and your ideas are bold, methinks the clever Queen will see in between and show you the way you can make her day;-)
(Ed you are giving us a writers seminar here, Great stuff;-)!

tiger lily

Reviewed by Peter Paton
Ogre Ed

You put the Alien Queen in a head and cookie spin with this plea to come to her sanity, and wean herself off those acid sprinkled cookies..:)

And I too suspect, that there is some meddling and tampering going on with those far out alien and cookie pictures in the Quenn's fifedom. could Captain Sprinkles have a cunning hand in this propaganda exercise..

It's time to send the Ogre Feds in to uncover the machinations of Queen A Pax's Campaign Team...and check their expenses too !..LOLS

Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson
Well done....
Reviewed by Rhonda Galizia
I think it's time to wean the Queen!

Let's start with a dose of Liquid Sparkles, instead - the antiserum
recovery drug for Sprinkle Addicts!

Perhaps...the Pillsbury Doughboy could help, too!!! You know, Ogre Ed, be available to take her SOS calls, when she gets those cravings!!

Still LOL............Rhonda
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
My mummy says. "Never trust the words of an Ogre."
But if you give me a cookie mister Ogre I'll trust you one more time.
Just do not sing to me again, "Ding bing the wicked queen will be a has been."
Thank you Mr Ogre. Please brush your tooth too...
Reviewed by Sandie Angel
Wishing the Cookie Queen A_Pax a speedy recovery! All the nest!

Sandie Angel :o)
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