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Mr. Ed

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  A Bonny, Bloody Lass
by Mr. Ed
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  It's Poppy Time Once More
•  Please Don't Worry So Much, H.P.
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           >> View all 1,518


My Friend, AD Member Georg Mateos,

Recently Posted His Excellent Poet’s Nest Challenge

Entitled – 'My Southern Belle,' Based on This Picture.

So I Also Humbly Submit My Challenge Entry,

Based on the Same Picture.



“Beware, so long as you live,

Of judging men (and women)

By their outward appearance.”


Jean de La Fontaine



She was born in old County Cork, Ireland

To a maid in her married father’s household

But such a horrendous scandal her birth did cause

She soon became a ravishing beauty, bloody and bold


Lovely Anne and her father sailed away to the colonies

Where she helped him run a huge plantation in Charleston

But it’s rumored that she murdered a servant one spring day

And nearly killed a very handsome young suitor, ‘just for fun’


Our beautiful young Anne soon tired of the lavish plantation life

She now ran off and married a pirate by the name of James Bonny

They soon sailed off together to the port of Nassau in the Bahamas

Where Anne quickly became a femme fatale of considerable infamy


She very quickly took up with a very wealthy beau of impeccable taste

Traveling in the best circles and now being invited to the Governor’s Ball

Where our bonny lass soon got into a nasty cat fight with his sister-in- law

Knocking out two of her teeth, yet somehow escaping the law in this brawl


And alas, now even her very wealthy beau could not hold on to her

She ran off with an even more villainous scoundrel called Calico Jack

And soon this bonny lass became so skilled with both pistol and cutlass

She began dressing as a man and leading many a bloody pirate attack


In the fall of 1720, the Governor of Jamaica ordered an attack on her ship

So this bonny lass now known as Anne Bonny again led the pirates’ fight

But most of the crew aboard her ship The Revenge were bloody drunk

Many of them were killed and our bonny lass hauled off to prison that night


But like other pirate tales it seems our bonny lass escaped the noose

Using her charms to convince her guards to release her, fleeing with zest

The last historical account of this bonny bloody pirate named Anne Bonny

Places her in Virginia, climbing on a horse, riding into the sunset, due west


Who Knows Whatever Then Became,

Of this Very Bonny, But Very Bloody Lass,

But I’m Sure That She Beguiled Many More Lads,

Before the Day Finally Came, That She, Too, Did Pass



©2007, Mr. Ed, A Humble Pirate Historian,

And One Who Never Judges a Book by Its Cover


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Reviewed by Seed4ever D. 5/19/2007
well quiet a nasty lass indead mr. Ed ...........I would have liked to meet her have drink and a laugh........Arr Arr Ohh Arr Dave
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 5/19/2007
Capt'n, we have 147 cutthroats, 83 muskets on the gunwales and 48 starboard cannons loaded and ready to fire when you are.
Aye! Aye! Poet Skipper this one goes to the library.
Ed, I was saved by the bell.
Very Good.
Reviewed by LadyJtalks LadyJzTalkZone (Reader) 5/18/2007
Very good, one never knows. Lady J
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/18/2007
Yip you cannot judge a book by it's color!!

Love Tinky
Reviewed by Jerry Engler 5/18/2007
Darned kids, running off all over the place, doing what they want without regard to anyone else, no respect for marriage and family, no respect for their elders and what the generations before them had to go through, what's the world coming to...oops, she's the wrong generation, ain't she, Ed. She's old. Just thought there for a moment I saw her at Hooters at 10th and Wanamaker, and she wasn't watching birds. (Actually I've never been there. I know more about barn owls. I should go there sometime,no scullery maids there, they teach those young gals how to grow up right, be entrepreneurs, or something like that, entreprenuptials?,entrepremanures?, now that latter would have something to do with their historical values as in Thomas Crapper down the toilet values? At least none of our girls wll run off to be pirates. You can tell it by lookin' at 'em.) Good story, good write, outstanding imagination,lots of fun, Ed...I just couldn't resist the commentary...Jerry...hey, that rhymed, commentary Jerry, take that challenge, darned kids. Thanks, Jerry (And excuse me, they took the chain off to feed me there for a moment. Guys like us should stay in the woods.)
Reviewed by Bennett 5/18/2007
Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot 5/18/2007
Oh A brazen Hussey she be, courteson of the high seas....
Well done ED, and it just goes to show you, that the female gender can wield those cutlasses, as good as any male pirate.
Reviewed by William Bonilla 5/17/2007
Ed This
An oustanding respond to an Excellent Challenge
Most enjoyable

Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 5/17/2007
This was so refreshing, love pirate tales! There were two women pirates, eventually caught and imprisoned. Both claimed to be with child, one I believe died in child birth. I believe the other came from a very wealthy family and was never heard from again. Just cannot recall both their names. Enjoyed the write.

Be safe,
Reviewed by Linda Hill 5/17/2007
Amazing poetry. I agree you should never judge anyone or anything by its covering. Take a look inside where it counts. Outstanding, my friend.

Many blessings,
Reviewed by H Cruz 5/17/2007
There's a twist for ya, O'l bony bonny, well sung!
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 5/17/2007
Makes you wonder what did eventually happen to her.
Nicely done, Ed.

Reviewed by Jibril Mohamed 5/17/2007
Hey this is great historical analysis of your bloody lass, Anne. I read George's entry sometime ago. This is enlightening.
Thank you.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 5/17/2007

Quite the departure, but none the less, educational and entertaining! The pirate's version of a black widow, perhaps?? Well done, my (((friend))).

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 5/17/2007
Ed, this is different from you, but this is very good. Excellent; bravo!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 5/17/2007
Excellent responce! :-) I do love it when you tell a tale.
Reviewed by E T Waldron 5/17/2007
Great humor in this tongue in cheek poetic tale of a "Southern Belle"
You answered the challenge with panache, Mr ED!

Tiger Lily
Reviewed by Joyce Bowling 5/17/2007
An excellent write my friend! Loved the history within the lines, makes it very rich! The music perfected the write! I too agree that we should not judge a book or a person by the covering! One great write my friend!
Joyce Bowling
Reviewed by Dale Clark 5/17/2007
An outstanding entry Ed. I enjoyed it very much and I am one
who never judges a book by its cover ;) Looking at the pic again
I see that bonny, bloody lass.
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart 5/17/2007
Great historical account Ed. They were to hang ole Calico Jack but it was rumored Ann was with child and escaped execution!
Reviewed by Spirit Warrior 5/17/2007
Most Excellent, Enjoyed the really set the piece off!

God Bless -Spirit Warrior
Reviewed by D Johnson 5/17/2007
Great story, loved it. Now I need to know what Georg wrote.

Reviewed by Barbara Smith 5/17/2007
Ed, I love your take on the Irish beauty, your contrived story made for a mystery poem. It kept my interest through the poem and I enjoyed all of the visual images and most of all, your voice in this piece. On a scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being the highest I give this a 10!

Books by
Mr. Ed

Where The Redwing Sings

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My Dog Is My Hero

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Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

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Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

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Cemetery Island

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Gold River Canyon

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Mystery of Madera Canyon

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