The Fourth Exciting Chapter,
In The New Comic Book Series,
Based On The Ancient Book of Ed,
‘There Can Be – Only One - Ed.’
“A most great and perfect location,
Be that land, you Eds think to take;
And on its very shores, a new nation,
Of fine Bordellos, This ‘Ed’ will make.”
Pirate La Belle Edwina Rouge
It was just gettin mighty dog gone interesting
As we four Ancient Brothers Ed prepared to fight
When we smelled perfume on the sea all around us
And a most interesting ship now appeared in the night
An extremely lovely red haired lass stood out on its deck
The Lady Marmalade flag was flyin over its polished wood
She and her very busty crew of shipmates drew our attention
As I guess this most experienced female pirate knew she could
“Ahoy there, on yer raggedy ships, me long lost Brothers Ed,
Ye all best be includin me in this epic ‘Ed’ battle for this isle,
I hereby Challenge for the Ancient Birthright of Immortal Eds,
Me birth name’s Edwina!” and how she so enchantingly smiled
“Blimey!” shouted Commodore Eddy Andrew Turner,
“OH, NO!” quickly chimed in that rascal Jersey Devil Ed,
And I, Pee Wee Noah Ed, was now too shocked to even speak
Seeing our long lost sister, Edwina, with her flaming hair of red
“Is that really you, Mon Sister, Edwina?” Edvard quickly asked,
“I don’t believe I have seen you since the Napoleonic Wars, Lass;
As the elder ‘Ed’ I must uphold our Honor Code, So No Incest, Sis!
But I Say Welcome Red Haired Belle, your ship will be sinkin fast!”
“Just hold on one danged minute, Edvard!” cried Jersey Devil,
Who ever said Girls were allowed to fight in this epic ‘Ed’ battle?
Besides, when we were kids, so very long ago, in another life it seems,
Both her and that Little Pee Wee Kid, were always the biggest Tattles!”
“I see you’re still the Devil of a Brother I’ve always known, Jersey Ed,
So I guess my crew will take out your puny ship, why this very night!
And don’t be expectin Sisterly Mercy, you Jersey Devil Brother, You,
The things we plan to do with yer carcass, should fill Ye with Fright!”
“Hold On One Moment, Brothers Ed!” shouted the Commodore,
How do we know this female pirate bears The Secret Mark of Ed!?”
So Pirate La Belle Edwina Rouge quickly showed him her mark,
And very, very soon, the Lad’s face was now glowin scarlet red.
“BLIMEY, AGAIN!” Commodore Eddy Andy Jimmy soon blurted out,
Jersey Devil said, “Well, does anyone want to play Bingo then, today?”
“Hell No! You always cheat, You Devil! I soon angrily heard myself say,
And Edvard The Elder screamed out, “Just Shut Up, Will You? En Garde!”
Alas, the die has now been cast, centuries in the making,
And I’ve always known that this day was coming, after all;
Will this very tiny oasis in the middle of these expanding seas,
Become a Bordello, a British Colony, Spa, Zoo, or Bingo Hall?
Here we are, all five born to be Eds,
(And Edwinas, Ednas, and Ediths)
Yet siblings, in this, our darkest hour;
Here we now belong, battling each other,
With our ancient, mystifying, ‘Ed’ powers.
But Gosh Darn It,
Now I’m Gonna Have To Make This,
Into an Adult Comic Book.
And After All Those Kids,
Who Helped Me Build My Ark,
Already Ordered Dozens of Copies.
Thanks A Lot, Sis…
And Now, I’ll Even Have to Cover
All The Innocent Animals’ Eyes and Ears.
Only The Devil and Old Davey Jones Really Know,
What Just Might Happen Around This Tiny Island Now;
Some poor old sailor named Walt keeps screamin for help,
Edwina’s got him chained up in her meat locker – Holy Cow!
- Please Stay Tuned –
I think I just spotted old Viking Ed’s sail,
On the distant horizon.
And now I’m wondering,
Just how many ‘Ed’ ships,
I can possibly squeeze,
Into the picture above!
☺2007, Mr. Pee Wee Noah Ed