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Mr. Ed

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· My Dog Is My Hero

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Books by Mr. Ed
  Bout That Night At The Old Black Rose
by Mr. Ed
Friday, February 29, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Ode to Scruffy
•  Three Tiny Terrified Souls
•  Their Abysmal Fourth of July
•  Rainy Day Walkabout
•  My Buddy
           >> View all 1,524


Inspired by Felix Perry

And La Belle Rouge,

And Their Recent Epic Poems,

About The Old Black Rose Saloon



“I should've been a cowboy,
I should've learned to rope and ride,
Wearin my six-shooter,

Ridin my pony on a cattle drive;
Stealin the young girl's hearts,
Just like old Gene and Roy,
Singin those campfire songs,
Oh, I should've been a cowboy.”


Toby Keith,

Should Have Been A Cowboy



Why I ever became a card shark

I guess that I will never really know

But after readin their real nostalgic poems

Back to the old Black Rose my thoughts did go


There we were, playin Poker all night

In Miss Belle’s saloon, in old Dodge City

And gosh darn, I was proud of my two pair

Drinkin too much, they looked awful pretty


And now that I’m rememberin that dreadful night

I seem to recall that old Jersey Ed was there, too

Along with my devilish brother, old Long Georg

And several of old Sheriff Fee’s real motley crew


Well, old Brother Jersey Ed, I just know he was cheatin

And Long Georg, he  was always a real shady character

But when that damned old Sheriff Fee up & raised my bet

I raised him right back, and I give ‘em my very best stare


Suddenly, old Jersey yells, ‘The Sheriff’s got a gun!’

So I drew mine, and I missed, cause I was so drunk

And old Long Georg now starts a yellin real loud

And then that old Fee, shoots me deader than a skunk


And now, I’m rememberin back how I was a ponderin

As my spirit began a floatin, up to that lonesome sky

Why I hadn’t been a cowboy, instead of a card shark

Damn It - Why, Oh, Why, Oh Why…


But just then, that sweet Miss Belle, the proprietor

She yanked my old floatin spirit, right back in

And she and her girls, propped me up in a corner

And they kept feedin me some really mighty fine gin


But if I ever see them fellers in the Black Rose agin

I’m gonna look ‘em all, right smack square in the eye

And I’m gonna tell ‘em all, that I shoulda been a cowboy

Damn it, now this old dead card shark has a hankerin to cry


“Girls, we’re gonna need another mop up in the corner.”


“Yes, Miss Belle.”


“And give that old stiff another drink,

Old Dead Ed really looks like Hell!”


“Yes, Miss Belle!”



©2008, Old Dead Black Ed



And That Russell Crowe Feller,

He Was The Nicest One,

In That Whole Damned Bunch

Of Cutthroats & Card Sharks.


He Even Got Me an Acting Gig,

As a Dead Cowboy,

In 3:10 To Yuma.


And He Said I was Pretty Damned Good, Too.


I Knew I Shoulda Been a Cowboy…



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Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 3/2/2008
Having so much fun reading you all.....more please!!

Love Tinky
Reviewed by Jerry Engler 3/2/2008
Lordy, but you Eds are mean. I've done some book signings in Dodge ,, and I'll be there again this spring. I'll certainly ask to see the dead Ed with the gin runnin' out of him wishin' he was a cowboy instead of a dead Ed. What a tourist attraction this can be. Maybe some of the Mexicans can go home because they won't need to process as much beef to stay healthy. I can see it now, Dodge, the city of dead eds...jerry
Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 2/29/2008
so much fun and clever too!!
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 2/29/2008
Cute, very enjoyable tale attributed to old wild west and they way it once was....

Be always safe,
Reviewed by Rebecca Lerwill 2/29/2008
LOL, very funny!! I didn't know Fee smoked!
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 2/29/2008
As my spirit began a floatin, up to that lonesome sky
Why I hadn’t been a cowboy, instead of a card shark

Yeah, A dude ranch would of fit you fine. Those cheatin card playin drunks are no good!
(very entertaining,, makes me laugh)
Reviewed by E T Waldron 2/29/2008
Love this change of pace Ed, you did it up real good, and who knows how much of that "dead cowboy" is in you...;-)
Reviewed by LadyJtalks LadyJzTalkZone (Reader) 2/29/2008
I thought about getting a larger picture and making a few of us saloon gals in it. Great little add to the write by Fee. Lady J
Reviewed by Dale Clark 2/29/2008
lol Hell yeah! and I always said the same thing about
train robbin ;) Gotta love it. Good one Ed!
Reviewed by Susan de Vegter 2/29/2008
I really enjoy the fun banter whenever someone starts one of these. I think Belle knows her men pretty well too.
Shoulda been a cowboy....and Toby Keith doing the background music makes it all come together.

Reviewed by Georg Mateos 2/29/2008
Yes you shoulda been a cowboy, when I tol'you to keep near me I didn't meen'to stop the bullets, now I have somtin' to explain to that Mean Tall Woman waiting in the teepe...but first I gonna give that Bella a private round of "spray"....

Ol'Long Georg
Reviewed by Felix Perry 2/29/2008
Well now Black Ed I must admit
I'm feeling kinda guilty
For winning all your money
Then sleeping with your frilly
So before you rots away too bad
I'll pay for your graving spot
I'll write the epthapyh myself

"Poor Ed'sgone to somewhere hot..."

Thank you for the addition to the series, Ed,
Sherrif Fee
Reviewed by Rose Rideout 2/29/2008
Well I must say Black Ed this is a cutie and its got me grinnin from ear to ear and I got me da thinkin that you shoulda been a cowboy and parked them there cards in the deck where they belong.
Thank you for sharing a great write.

Newfie Hugs, Rose
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 2/29/2008
Ed, ya are too much, ya know that?? What a hootnanny y'all are! Too funny; bravo!! Take a bow!! *clapping*

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., The Texas Tornado. :D
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart 2/29/2008
Black Ed you'd a been a damn sight better cowboy than you was card shark and gunslinger. I'll let you hang around the Black Rose until you commence ta stinkin, well you most likely aint gonna smell no worse than the rest a them double dealing dawgs so just stand there in the corner by the piany til you rots, course you can't spect Annie to allow you in her bed that long!
Reviewed by Tom Hyland 2/29/2008
ED ... just watched 3:10 - good flick! Crowe & Bale done good!

you as dead drunk wuz gud 2!

MATH Q. what is the shortest distance between two PINTS?

Reviewed by Ed Matlack 2/29/2008
You shoulda been a cowboy cause you ain't much of a card player, but watch out for Jersey, he's got a 4 shot derringer strapped to his leg & isn't afraid to use it...ed
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 2/29/2008
*chuckling* Aw hell, a flat out guffaw - this is too funny! Loved the lines,

" ... Suddenly, old Jersey yelled, 'The sherrif's got a gun!'
And so I drew mine, and missed, because I was so drunk ...."

Don't you know shootin' irons and shootin' shots don't mix?!?? Well done, GhostEd.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
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