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Mr. Ed

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· My Dog Is My Hero

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

· Cemetery Island

· Gold River Canyon

· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

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· The 4th of July Kittens

· The Easter Skunk

· The Dog At The Drive-Thru Window

· Home For The Holidays

· Two Bonded Street Orphans, In From The Cold

· A Survivor's Tale

· Pigs, Turtles, and Bugs!

· Gentle Cemetery Dog Finally Safe

· Freezing, Starving, and Scared

· A Home For The Holidays

· Very Sadly, Not Much Has Changed In The Last Ten Years

· June is 'Adopt A Cat Month'

· I Am a Dog, Not a Thing

· Ghost Dog Rescued From Hot Dog Stand

· February is 'National Spay/Neuter Awareness' Month

· The 2014 Home 4 The Holidays Campaign

· Saving Our Canine Vets, This Veterans Day

· November is 'Adopt-A-Senior-Pet' Month

· National Pit Bull Awareness Day

· Keep Your Pets Safe This Halloween

· Ode to Scruffy

· Three Tiny Terrified Souls

· Their Abysmal Fourth of July

· Rainy Day Walkabout

· My Buddy

· It's Pet Appreciation Week

· Another Lesson From A Dog

· Just Nature

· It's Poppy Time Once More

· Please Don't Worry So Much, H.P.

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· Chicken Soup for the Soul: Loving Our Dogs

· The Daily Mews

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Another Review For Curious Creatures-Wondrous Waifs

· Recipient of the 2006 Merial Human-Animal Bond Award

· International Writing Award

· My Animal Book Wins an Award

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Books by Mr. Ed
  She Just Won't Fetch Anymore
by Mr. Ed
Monday, July 19, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Ode to Scruffy
•  Three Tiny Terrified Souls
•  Their Abysmal Fourth of July
•  Rainy Day Walkabout
•  My Buddy
           >> View all 1,524



Inspired By A Mighty Big Thirst,

And By Patrick Granfors’ Poem,

‘Good Dog, Good Dog’


Hot Town, it’s gotta be 100 degrees, in the city

Back of my neck was gettin real dirty and gritty

I started sweatin real good, and it wasn’t pretty


This heat wave is a real damned pity

Doesn't seem to be any relief in the city


All around, people lookin half dead

Crawlin down the sidewalk

Hotter than a match head


But now, in our little backyard doggy pool

It's a much better, much, much cooler world

So, let these danged 100 degree days, unfurl


Me, and good old Tater, and faithful old Turbo 

We three amigos, just might stay here, all night

Despite the god-awful heat, it's gonna be alright


But we have one pretty big problem

Mean Tall Woman won’t fetch us Beer

Or Milkbones, or any other cool necessities


I even begged and yelled, “PRETTY PLEASE!”

(And the two dogs BARKED and DROOLED)


But she just laughed, real nasty like

And then, she locked the back door


And man, don't you know it's a pity

That she just won’t Fetch, anymore


In the summer, in the city

In the summer, in the city



“Old Tater and Turbo,

You may not believe it,

But there actually was a time,

Although now, it seems so long ago,

When she would even fetch Wine Coolers.”



How I Really Miss Those Good Old Days,

In The Summer, In The City…



©A Real Nostalgic Old Mr. Ed,

Who’s In The Doghouse, Again;

And damn it, I left my house keys,

In my pants pocket, inside.



Good Thing I Was Smart Enough,

To Get a New Waterproof Laptop;

We May Be Out Here, For Quite Awhile.



In The Summer, In The City,

In The Summer, In The City…






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Reviewed by m j hollingshead 7/29/2010
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 7/25/2010
EEEEP. In trouble AGAIN? *shaking head*

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :(
Reviewed by Rose Rideout 7/20/2010
Great write Ed and I can understand why she doesn't fetch anymore.

Newfie Hugs, Rose
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 7/20/2010
Bad Mean Bad Mean
Not fetching now is just obscene
Pee Wee and the boys have much to fear
A locked back door and no more beer
Perhaps if you whispered sweet nothings in her ear
Patrick.....assuming she'll unlock the door for you
Reviewed by Connie Faust 7/20/2010
...and the laughs go on. I don't know about those doggies, but I fear you will have a flaming sunburn. Maybe she'd fetch you an umbrella for shade.
Reviewed by Dawn Anderson 7/20/2010
Sweet and clever
Reviewed by D Johnson 7/19/2010
Nice, Ed... as I recall the high temps in Chicago came standard with very high humidity...btw, Portland, Or. had highs in the mid 70's today...

Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 7/19/2010
Serves you all right for being so demanding! What a fantastic write! By the way, it was 105 here yesterday, whew!!!!!

Be always safe,
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 7/19/2010
Maybe she can fetch a fryin' pan and slam you on the head as she is entitled to do as per your marriage agreement...If I were her though I would wait till ya all fall asleep in the pool then pour in a big bag of ice...that'll keep you cool...e
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 7/19/2010
Oh Ed this is so :)
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 7/19/2010
It's all in training right at the beginning, you are I think trying teach an old dog new tricks, sorry Princess, but it's just a saying.
Come to think, if you had octopussies in your pool, you might get a different response you think? BlessingsS! Jasmin Horst
Reviewed by Felix Perry 7/19/2010
Loved the origianal and I think I love this one almost as much but can truly see the fetching side of it as being asking just a little too
Reviewed by E T Waldron 7/19/2010
love this one bro! But my my,you ole beasty,expecting your wife to fetch! you really are a laff a minute!;-)lol
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 7/19/2010
Does that swimm'n pool have octopuses?
Looks like the one I have for my pups
Imagine a Water Proof Lap Top!!

Turn'n On The Sprinklers
Reviewed by Lew Duffey 7/19/2010
God bless,
Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 7/19/2010
Reviewed by Tom Hyland 7/19/2010




Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 7/19/2010
Hilarious imagery, Ed!!! Maybe you should put A/C in that doghouse! giggle

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