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Mr. Ed

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· My Dog Is My Hero

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· Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

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Books by Mr. Ed
  The Cussing Cockatoo Case
by Mr. Ed
Saturday, September 08, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.

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           >> View all 1,523



-And Some Still Insist That We’re More Intelligent Than Animals-


Music: Bad To The Bone


Many of my neighbors cuss and curse

But they are protected by ‘Free Speech’

Poor Willy The Cockatoo is not protected

And he’s been dragged into court this week


He has been cited under an ‘Animal Noise Ordinance’

Since he likes to shout expletives at the folks next door

I don’t think that it’s his fault he was taught nasty words

Especially offensive to his neighbors are words like ‘’


You see his owner used to be married to the guy next door

But he decided to leave his wife, and hook up with another

So Willy’s owner taught him many words not taught in school

Words that many children hear spouted by fathers and mothers


I wonder if poor Willy would have been in violation of this ordinance

If he had been taught to shout things like: “Good Morning, Neighbor!

My, You Look Lovely In That Fabulous New Dress Of Yours Today,

I Hope You Have A Good Day At Work, And I’ll Talk To You Later!”


And today, I am considering starting a ‘Free Speech For Willy’ Campaign

Like all of us, he’s a product of his environment, and what he hears everyday

I’m also now considering getting a few Cockatoos like good old Willy myself

My dogs refuse to shout expletives at my nasty neighbors, no matter what I say


Many of my neighbors cuss and curse,

But they are protected by Free Speech;

Poor Willy The Cockatoo is not protected,

And he’s been dragged into court this week.


-And I Sure Hope He Doesn’t Swear At The Judge-



©2012, Animal Rights Advocate Mr. Ed








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Reviewed by Christine Alwin
....just as kids say what they hear, darn grown-ups need to grow up!
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Hahaha! I've heard more than one swearing bird in my lifetime...and it's exactly as you say...they're a product of their environment...

Reviewed by John Flanagan
You go Willy! swear all you like at those
'wh.res'...have i got that right?
an Animal Noise Ordinance? ah yes, but
pity there isn't one for public officials
and such..
Ed, give Willy my best wishes

Reviewed by Laura Fall
A great photo to along with this enjoyable read Laura
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Hysterical! XD

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Texas, Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Vivian Dawson
Amusing and Delightful
that bad boy "Willy"
*Mr Ed* thoroughly
enjoyed this one!

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by Keith Rowley
Reviewed by Christine Tsen
Irresistible! Ooh I hope he let's it all out!
Reviewed by Joy Hale
Wonderfully funny! I wish I had a cockatoo to use on
one of my neighbors. No cussing, just "Clean up your yard." and "tell your kids to not have such loud and boisterous parties until the wee hours of the morning while you are both gone." A little comic relief is good for all of us!

Joy L. Hale

Joy L. Hale
Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger
Mr. Ed ~ Hilarious that this Cockatoo cusses like a drunken sailor !!
Willie has animal rights. Hope all goes well !!

Lady Mary Ann
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
I'll swear to that! Since when is the word, “Where,” obscene? All the cockatoos I know are just happy to be able to mimic humans and speak. For that they get tasty treats and are very sure they know exactly what they are saying. That's why your poem is so poignant, Especially when you described the surrounding circumstances.

You can Cockatoo all you want, but don't cock it around me! ;-)

Who're you calling a bird brain, you, fn, expletive ha, I still don't know how to make lovely noise like yours, or write such witty poetry, by the way, I'll sign your petition too, it's really the neighbours who should be fined, for aggrevating the bird, ha.
Bless ya!
Reviewed by Lily of Lough Neagh C. Dennis-Woosley
I have to laugh, it is not the bird's fault
he was taught expletives! Definitely a product
of his environment, the owner of Willie needs
to be fined. (Of course he will have to pay
the fine lol..., new language training should
be in short order)

Love and Light
Reviewed by D. Vegas
Poor Willie, it is not his fault...

Reviewed by D Johnson
Way to go Ed, I'd call the campaign 'Free Willy 2.0'
Reviewed by Odin Roark
The whole idea of free speech is treated with charm and humor in this departure from your often dog-based writings. Enjoyable read. Now teaching expletives in a remote foreign language would freak out the best of them, eh?
Reviewed by Ruan Mills Burke
Poor old Willy!
My dogs do shout expletives at the neighbours - just not in English - Maybe that's a good thing. lol
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