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C.A. Reed

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by C.A. Reed

Saturday, March 19, 2005
Not rated by the Author.
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Recent poems by C.A. Reed
•  for j.m. and his sweetheart
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           >> View all 92

"still i wonder how you are
and what became of all of this
did you cry when winter's hands
stole you from that fertile grave
did your mother hold you dear
to ease the burdon of your pain
swallowed out into the light--
happy birthday.
still i wonder how you are
and how you ever came to be
i was nothing but a hole
you nestled in and fell asleep
were you sad when you awoke,
torn away from fertile dreams
i didn't want to wake you up
and i'm still sorry.
happy birthday.
do you wonder how i am
or whatever became of me
do you envision my fair face
where the beaten go to drink
i didn't want to cut that cord
you sucked the life right out of me
do you regret choices you've made
i guess i was a mistake, i guess i was a mistake, i guess i was a mistake, i guess i'm your big mistake. well, happy birthday anyway, happy birthday" --tim kasher

i was discussing genetics
the other night, with my
husband, after laying
down a book i've been
deeply embroiled in,
is it really possible,
to be so influenced
by someone we'd hardly
ever known?
i'd been told, early on,
'"you are your father's daughter,
not knowing what she meant,
or really even how--
you left so early on
beyond control of me, of her
or anyone who might have
cared to care
you chose your path,
she hers, and even if you hadn't
well, you would have met fate
just the same.
you really would have liked him,
pining over old vinyl records
and autos, talking motown
humming songs, said,
"i've been working on the railroad"
he did, too, you know? maybe you
you really would have liked him.
you might have liked me, too-
oh well, it's all moot now so nevermind
though i still miss you as though it were yesterday, so many years ago, now left behind.
happy birthday.

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Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 3/20/2005
Blimey seeing it from your view. My father was/is my hero, but my ex not letting me see my son, this past 5 years, I so often wonder if he even thinks of me. I never stop thinking of my little soldier, or crying to be honest..

Reviewed by jude forese 3/19/2005
very thought provoking ... i'm glad my father is not like me ...
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 3/19/2005
I think that I can relate to this too but you really got into it with this one. A splendid write.
Reviewed by Sue Hess 3/19/2005
wow , i related to this so completely. i'm not sure about the genetics but i heard that i was 'just like' my father, whom i never knew, all my life and eventually became just like him in many ways...was it hereditary or just self fulfilling prophecy from so many years of hearing it. great words, they really made me think
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