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12/31/03

for javier and joseph

I.
break me down again,
i'm pounding the pavement
the strip's glow is dizzying
and gets me sick after
3 drinks too many at old
caeser's restaurants' bars,
at plush red lounge tables
sitting fireside, with my burning
hands and mind
i drown my reflection in the water,
in your eyes, and in the windows
of your car, as you drive away
for the final time.

II.
and here YOU are, no native of henderson,
but of a town, in a country in which
i've never travelled
and the name now escapes me, though
i'll revisit that bar where
you motioned (to) a poster
showing a long-forgotten festival
drawn in bold and vivid colors...
then i'll drink to your ghost,
for i begged you to haunt me
young at 34, yet so aware of your
demise
and you said, "he wouldn't like that..."
(dischordant music to his ears)
i just shrugged: "MAKE ME BELIEVE",
should you find out you were proven wrong
you are a song i used to sing,
now out of key, i've lost the words
you're like a book i used to read
but set down, restless with its plot
but i never shall forget
the initial sentiments they brought
i'll always wonder at their ends,
and regret i somehow lost my spot...