In an effort to create new characters for my next book, I am stepping into this cowboys boots who wants to write songs for Nashville. Unfortunately his songs just miss the mark, but I am having lots of fun creating the songs for him. This is song 2 of 10 that I will write in the next few months. Apologies to you song writers out there.

Song 1 = She's Gone. Hooray!!
Song 2 = Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Rear

She is only as good as my last pair of socks.
Said our goodbyes and changed all the locks.
Divvied up radios, the dogs and the beers,
get your ass out right now, don’t let the door hit your rear.

Been married eight years, going on nine.
She no longer appealed to my simple mind.
She watched Springer and Oprah and always cried tears,
get your ass out right now, don’t let the door hit your rear.

She had Tupperware parties and painted her toes.
Then she went punk, put a ring through her nose.
Walked through the mall, no bra, courting cheers,
get your ass out right now, don’t let the door hit your rear

Took my fishing rods and sold them at her garage sale.
My singing fish, my bass boat, this ain’t no fake tale.
She sold all my treasures with memories so dear,
so I kicked her ass out, and now I can cheer.