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J. Allen Wilson

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by J. Allen Wilson
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.

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•  Sad But True
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Please Forgive this selfish plea



Alone, so alone; days are built in silence.

Walls grow even higher; brick by brick in defense.

Normal has now become a faint memory.

Nights crucify and crush the inward soul.


The mind has become numb to the secret of its pain.

The heart grows heavier each and every passing day.

Seems like no use at times to keep up this my facade.

Only now, yet to no other, it is in the hands of God.


Everything that I now touch; everything my eyes see.

So many are their memories; oh so many wonderful things.

Treasures which once brought joy bring now so much grief.


I try to be strong, but I feel like such a hopeless little fool.

I try to bring my thoughts into subjection in abiding by God’s rule.

Yet, I still feel so alone in this silent battle for precious life.

I feel like I’m lost in the darkness groping for an unseen light.


These words, these simple emotions crawl forth from this heart of mine.

They wreak sad little commentaries in the inward selfishness of their ways.

They evoke the aura of not giving of myself in the desperate cry of time.


I write for an outlet to escape the maddening silence of my pain.

Yet I feel guilty in that I use the descriptions of me, me, me and I.

Selfish to my own pain am I in the secret and plaintive writes.

Tis no wonder to me that I sit alone and cry into the night.


There is no reason that should the worst come to be that I should stay.

For this silence would become sufficient enough to send me too on his way.

God…oh God, hear now this ever fragile little plea.

Hear and answer that we may once again go in health and peace to our beloved home by the sea.






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Reviewed by Cryssa C 7/10/2008
Heart wrenching write. You bare your soul to the Lord...He will heal your pain.

Reviewed by George Carroll 7/8/2008
We all know we are going to die one day some sooner than others but death is inevitable and we are promised if we live a good life that this short span of years we have here on earth we have eternity to look forward to with God and our loved ones. But if we let grief of the loss of a loved one turn into despair that leads to suicide then the eternity we are promised will never be fulfilled and you would have lost the eternity of love you could have spent with your wife. How can this love for your wife be real when you are willing to lose eternity with her by a rash action if that is what you are contemplating? Wrap yourself in prayer for without it we are all lost to our emotions.
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 7/7/2008
What everyone else has said, and especially is UNHEALTHY to keep this inside of you...just writing does not get it all out...Find Peace, Ed & Rufuz
Reviewed by Barbara Smith 7/7/2008
Allen, I hear your soul crying out and my heart aches inside wishing I could do something to heal your pain. Anyone in your situation would feel as you do Allen because when we "love" someone from the core of our soul, we are going to worry & grieve about losing them. Allen, try expecting a gift from God - expect things to turn out okay - expect a future with Leah - expect to be with her for years to come. Never allow negative thoughts to enter your mind - God's healing comes into play when we "expect" Him to act in our favor. Your writings are strong & I'm sure they are touching many who are in the same situation you are in. As they read your words, they'll more than likely pick the words out that give them strength and encouragement. They'll never take the negative thoughts with them. EXPECT a miracle!!! I'm with you and Leah on a daily basis in my mind and in my heart - never cease to "EXPECT a miracle!!!"
Reviewed by Lois Christensen 7/7/2008
You need to talk it out with Leah and with other people too. Keeping thoughts inward isn't good for your health either. You expressed your feelings in this write and seem to be a little more depressed about things. Prayers are essential too and keep praying.
Reviewed by Felix Perry 7/7/2008
When the pain of lonliness and sadness of impending doom weigh the heavy on us...that is the time we need more than any other to pour out our hearts to the paper.
Sad but honest write my friend...

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 7/7/2008
(((HUGS))) And prayers to you, (((ALLEN))) and (((LEAH)))~

Love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :( >tears! <
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 7/6/2008
((((( Dear Allen )))))

This is such an emotional write. I can feel your pain so well through your words.

Writing is a form of self-therapy in time of needs, don't ever stop writing, and don't feel guillty about posting your words in here.

Be strong...I know how hard it can be. Your emotions is now mixed with despair and disappointment in life, but you must stay strong for Leah, for she needs your strength now more than ever.

Sending you lots of love,

Sandie May Angel

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 7/6/2008
your pain is so very evident in your words-your faith is as well
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 7/6/2008

The Lord hears your cries of anguish - He is not uncaring, unmindful; he understands the groanings which cannot be uttered. That's when He moves, when you are totally broken.

And do not apologize - if we were in your house by the sea, undergoing all of the trials, we would probably be yelling more than anyone, probably cursing God instead of leaning on Him, like you and Leah are doing. You are a modern day Job - please, keep the faith. He will answer, in His time, His way -

I pray for peace that passes all understanding, health, rest for you and Leah -

Powerfully penned sadness -

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. *tears*
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