Miranda fell into the cows' mess,
and Jamie and I had a fight.
Dad showed us a really huge ants' nest.
Mum asked, "Do those kind of ants bite?"
They did, and when Jamie stopped crying
he gave me a really mean kick.
Dad opened his mouth to shout, "Will you...!"
Then Bethany said, "I feel sick."
Mum cleaned up the mess with some dock leaves;
Miranda said Bethany stank.
Dad said, "Don't be stupid, she doesn't."
But her jacket smelt totally rank.
It was Mum's fault we fell in the nettles -
we said we were safe up the tree.
And now I feel bad that I giggled
when the pollen made Bethany wheeze.
When Dad said it seemed a small picnic,
Mum got in a bit of a mood.
She said something like maybe next time,
he'd like to take charge of the food
Dad's bald patch was bright red from sunburn,
Miranda was scratched by a thorn.
Jamie got stuck on a barbed-wire fence,
and his new Rooney T-shirt got torn.
Hours later we got to the car park,
Dad speeded home, hurried indoors.
Mum carried in all of the rucksacks.
Dad swore, 'cause he'd just missed the scores.
Miranda and Jamie were rowing,
Dad slouched in the chair, looking glum.
Beth hollered because she was hungry.
And Mum said, "Well. Wasn't that fun?"