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Ed Matlack

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Its Time Again for my Monthly Bath...
by Ed Matlack

Thursday, July 31, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Ed Matlack
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           >> View all 5,605

Bet this makes my brudders & mudder happy...

Tis time again, I’m afraid,

To drag out the tub, cleaning it with Raid,

Gotta at least once a month,

Take my bath with Rene there to me aid…J


Hey it isn’t so much the bath itself,

I just dislike to use the fresh water,

I try to save as much as possible,

Opting to stay clean in the ocean,

And smelling pretty using Nivea hand lotion…J


And though I do sit for quite awhile,

She stands above me with scrub brush in hand,

Telling me to take off my hat, which I never do,

I cannot let those flies go, where else would they live,  since in my hair they flew…J


What is this stuff about having to use soap,

Hey, I am in the water ain’t I,

Even my feet are under the surface,

I know, Rene, what you plan to do with that rope,

Tying me down so the soap you can use,

What do you think I am, a total & complete dope…J

© ed J 7/31/08

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Reviewed by Tom Hyland 8/1/2008
ED - you remind me of those wonderful days in Basic training in the Army . Ft. Knox, KY in 1960 -

we HAD one DIRT-BALL in our platoon, who stunk like a pig - I had heard about G.I. SHOWERS, but thought it was a myth - then, one night the guys in his bay GRABBED him - into a hot shower, using SCRUB BRUSHES & GI LYE SOAP - they scrubbed that mother down - a big guy, maybe 220 or so, cried like a baby - he never skipped a day after that! After the other platoons heard about it, we had the CLEANEST COMPANY on the base.

let someone ELSE SAVE the h2o, like maybe PEEWEE ?

Peace - and maybe some BABY POWDER ? TK.

Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader) 7/31/2008
Oh my,I almost peed my pants laughing so hard... great the picture ..LOL..stay safe and well...Hugssss
Reviewed by E T Waldron 7/31/2008
heehee, did Rufuz help you write this?;-)lol
very entertaining big ED!Bet your brothers luv it!ET
Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G 7/31/2008
LOL!!!!!! LOVe it! YOur humor is such an uplifting rise to stardom Ed!
YOU don't put Rufuz in that tub too - do you?
I can picture all this, all in the name of saving a buck1
Good luck!
I would still hug ya'!
Warmest Blessings and Inner Peace, Warrior Purple Lady Passion Sheexooo

STay Positive! STay Cool! Rufuz don't drool! :) O.k. Ok drool but on his shirt, not on her skirt! :)
Reviewed by Lois Christensen 7/31/2008
Your sense of humor is catching. I guess I'll go swimming in daughter's pool for my bath, with a bath suit on of course. It is so hot here 90 degrees again but supposed to storm. Rufuz surely is concerned about you now, wants to know if you have all your senses or how you can be so happy now when last week you were sort of down.
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 7/31/2008
This time I really think he is overdoing it, I mean a porno picture on innocent A D, my God what's the world coming to, you'd de thunk he could've got a wee bit bigger bathtub, I hope Rene calls the environment authorities, before he dumbs that water in some unsuspecting creek, killing all the fishes, Georg, you as the older brother should really talk to him, I wonder if Rufi is wise yet to them empty boots............
Reviewed by Rose Rideout 7/31/2008
well now you gone and done it Ed, and Rene will make good use of that soap. You are indeed an entertainer Ed. Thank you for the many smiles.

Newfie Hugs, Rose
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 7/31/2008
Ain't you told Rene bout'those Canadians lasses playing with your "hat" in Fee's House of Baths?.
I gonna hit two craters of Coors and chase them down with some serious Captain Morgan dark, just to forget the picture in my mind of you naked in that tub wearing hat and boots.

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 7/31/2008
Yer a laff a minnit, ya know that, Ed?? HiLARious write; thanks for the smiles!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat 7/31/2008

Hilarious! You made my day with your humor. Thank you.

Reviewed by Felix Perry 7/31/2008
Gotta love it and the picture too. See if you hadda come to live up here in Nova Scotia you could have just went to Fee's Bath House and Spa and had one of our famous beer baths...may not make you clean but sure enough makes you happy.

Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson 7/31/2008
I imagine the lice have a happy home under that hat.
Rufer is the one spose to not like baths.
Spose yore part dog Ed?
Skunks don't use soap fer shore......
Reviewed by Edwin Hurdle 7/31/2008
This is a very funny poem.I enjoy reading it.I was actually laughing and smiling while reading it.An enjoyable and fun poem.take care

Reviewed by Mr. Ed 7/31/2008

Bet this makes my brudders & mudder happy...

Bet this makes my brudders & mudder happy...

Bet this makes my brudders & mudder happy...

I just sent this to Ma, and she ran outside - she's now out dancin in the street!!!

I think I'll get Drunk!!! I bet Edvard will, too!!

Bet this makes my brudders & mudder happy...

PS Rufuz just sent my dogs an e-mail concerning all this; all he had to say to them was: WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFF!!!!!!!!

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